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Bundle of.... nerves, emotions, just ugh

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HFSSC posted 10/3/2013 13:53 PM

Tonight is the dinner that I am speaking at. (I know that's grammatically incorrect. I just don't have the energy to figure out how it should be worded)

It's a fund raiser for a crisis pregnancy center. I'll be telling my story of being pregnant at 19 and giving up my daughter for adoption. It's obviously a very emotional topic.

I am also still reeling from the trauma of the wreck that my H and son witnessed (and I assisted ems) which killed a 21 year old.

I'm a mess. I need to get it together by 6 pm eastern. I'd appreciate your prayers/thoughts/mojo.

Thanks.

Aubrie posted 10/3/2013 14:25 PM

Been thinking about you all week HFSSC.

((((hugs))))

Keeping you in prayer.

Newlease posted 10/3/2013 14:51 PM

Sending strength and peace your way. Try to center and let everything else flow out of your mind. You will do a GREAT job if you speak from the heart.

NL

sheila0304 posted 10/3/2013 14:58 PM

prayers/thoughts/mojo
You have a beautiful soul.
(((HFSSC)))

still2suspicious posted 10/3/2013 15:02 PM

sending strength to you.

You are a wonderful, strong woman HFSSC.

boontje posted 10/3/2013 16:50 PM

You are so strong HF. You can do this.

sisoon posted 10/3/2013 17:15 PM

As always, to thine own self be true. You're not there to look good or amaze the audience with your expertise in public speaking.

You're there to share your experience, maybe talk about the help you did or didn't get and the help you needed, and maybe show how this place does at least some of what you needed. If you're real, you'll connect with the audience. (And by connecting, they'll be amazed at how great a public speaker you are.)

If I were in the audience, I think I'd like to know that you're suffering from a recent trauma while you're talking about an old trauma, so I recommend that you spend a minute or 2 on the wreck and loss from last week.

jo2love posted 10/3/2013 17:29 PM

(((HFSSC)))

Sending you strength. You will be terrific.

jrc1963 posted 10/3/2013 18:20 PM

Thinking of you!

HFSSC posted 10/4/2013 06:14 AM

Thank you all so much.

It went very well, for the most part. I felt very calm and peaceful while I was speaking. A college choir sang "In Christ Alone" which is just about my favorite hymn/song, just before I went onstage. I didn't carry notes or anything (notes always make me MORE nervous). They chose one picture of me with my daughter that they put on the screen while I was talking.

The keynote speaker was someone who is, apparently, fairly well known, although I had never heard of her. She kept talking about her op-ed columns, books, and appearances on Fox news. She was dynamic and had a great message, but also spent a lot of time on political stuff and history. Several people afterward told me that as far as they were concerned, I was the main speaker. I took that as a very nice compliment.

The only hiccup was, of course, my mom. The format of the dinner was "Taste of Mycity". and there were about 15 restaurants that had provided food. You went around to the different stations and got small portions of whatever they had. I could have just lived at the Melting Pot station. But my nerves were shot and I was close to tears. Then a woman with an infant who looked very similar to my daughter as a newborn stood DIRECTLY in front of me.

And my mom (who is perfectly capable of getting her own food but enjoys the "I'm disabled" thing) said, "Would you go get in that line and bring me some more of those roast beef rolls? I want the croissants with mayo." She either didn't notice that I wasn't eating, or didn't care. And because I didn't feel like having a scene, I went and got the damn things for her. Felt like shoving them up her nose, but that would have made a scene, too.

After I came back to the table, JM grabbed my hand and walked with me for about 20 minutes until the thing was ready to start.

After it was all over, my brother told me he was all set to body tackle her if she tried to go onstage. It would have almost been worth it.

So, thank you all again for your sweet words and prayers. I read this thread on our way there and told JM, "You know, those SI peeps are absolutely awesome." And he said "Yep. They sure are."


Y'all are awesome!

tushnurse posted 10/4/2013 10:07 AM

Woot Woot!!!
Glad it went so well.

jo2love posted 10/4/2013 10:20 AM

I'm glad it went well.

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