Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: MrsB (61169)

User Topic: Do the AP think they're that much better than the BS?
♀ 36976
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know our WS's are probably talking us down to the AP. The shiny new AP is now in the middle of "true love", and whatever WS and BS had is far inferior. Proof? Well, WS is having an affair on you, right? Do AP's think they're immune to being "cheated on" (chuckle, chuckle) because they feel that much more superior to the BS?

My WH says, "She was never better than you" and my response is always, "they why did you let her think she was everyday with your words and actions?"

Posts: 870 | Registered: Sep 2012
♂ 14993
Member # 14993
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does the AP think they're that much better? Why do you think both affair partners work so hard to try to convince themselves that they are?

The answer is because no healthy, emotionally stable, functional human being would need to stroke their ego by making such selfish and destructive choices. When your actions tell the truth about who you are and it doesn't match up with what you want to believe... those that aren't emotionally healthy have to tell themselves lies about how they got there.

[This message edited by SerJR at 8:07 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)]

Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.

Posts: 18191 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Further North than South
♀ 27544
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex said the same thing - I am way better than her. Well, funny, it sure didn't seem that way.

AP thought she was better than EVERYONE. Delusional slut.

Me: BGF - 36
"They say time is the only healer...
God, I hope that isn't right 'cause right now I'd die to not remember..." - Carly Pearce

Posts: 3320 | Registered: Feb 2010
♀ 37459
Member # 37459
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ow tried to convince FWH that she was better than me. She put down my physical appearance and my parenting skills to make herself look better. FWH says that he never agreed with her. He told her I was beautiful and a great mom . She even told him that her bs thinks I am not skinny enough. Apparently she thought it would be great if I got together with her bs but then told FWH that he didn't find me attractive and that he would never be with me.

[This message edited by momwith2boys at 8:48 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)]

Me BW 35
husband 35
Married 10 years, together 13 years
OW-my so called "friend"
2 boys (7 & 3)
D-day 10/17/2012
D-day2-2/24/2013 told me it was her
D-day3-6/16/2013 found out affair never ended
Working on R

Posts: 35 | Registered: Nov 2012
♀ 39802
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes she thinks she is better than me.

Posts: 309 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 27011
Member # 27011
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The AP thinks she is better than me as well. To be honest, the opinion of someone who happily accepted the advances of a man she knew was married really does not matter to me.

Posts: 735 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Immersed in my happily ever after : )
♀ 19197
Member # 19197
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think if she really believed she was better than me, she wouldn't have spent so much time trying to point out all my faults to my H. Of course the fault-finding only began once the constant complimenting me (prior to the A truly beginning) ceased.

Me: BS
Him: FWH
Married Over 30 years w/ grown kids
Dday 1: 2007
Dday 2: Mid 2008 (same MOW, 14 month false R)
The affair was the aberration, not the marriage or the man.

Posts: 871 | Registered: Apr 2008
♂ 39099
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think most APs feel like complete shitheels deep down, but like our WS they are in denial and caught up in fantasy love.

My wife's AP had a "romantic" Valentine's Day nooner with her...then never saw her again. At least he hasn't in 7.5 months. She called him 3 days later and told him that I found out, and that they had to go NC so she could try to save the marriage. He emailed her a couple of times and she responded, but not with lurrvve. He texted her. She deactivated her phone number and email accounts.

From what I gather he had it bad for her. I imagine he feels hurt and used. (He was). Better than me? I'd think he'd give his right arm to trade places with me. Just like I'd give mine to have a wife who honored our marriage vows. And my wife would give hers if she could turn back the clock and make better choices.

Life's a bitch for all of us sometimes, huh?


Posts: 1969 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Southwest
♀ 40358
Member # 40358
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well first thing ap said to me was " you r not the bitch your husband made u out to b". She then inferred I was dumb for not knowing about the affair. I said " I'm suppose to trust my husband"
She absolutely thought she was better then me which is hilarious on so many lvls. She was dirt.

Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R

Posts: 142 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH says, "She was never better than you" and my response is always, "they why did you let her think she was everyday with your words and actions?"

This exactly. ^^^^^^^
OW thinks she's better in ways that I don't consider make her a better person. I have my perception based on convos with her and because I know the kind of person she is. I m assuming she thinks I'm boring in bed, that I don't appreciate my ws, that I'm a slacker because she works and I'm a sahm. She's a go getter and lives it up with various activities and of course she's such a hot little vixen that my ws can't stay away from her. I think she prob thinks I'm still M because I don't want to get a job...she's wrong on every thing.. she most likely feels that my ws works so
and I don't treat him like a king, that I'm too wrapped up in my kids. She also thinks I'm naive, insecure, and jealous.
Been with him over half my life
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank

Posts: 5738 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
♀ 33523
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 2:25 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can only assume that OW thinks it's "better" than me.

OW started it's campaign to get me D'd less than 3 months after DD.I assume b/c it couldn't wait to take my place; sort of be me, but "better".

The "better" in the sitch is better OW than me! I absolutely have no fucks to give regarding what that foul whore thinks about me.

XH was kind enough to tell me that OW was better than me in damn near every way.

eta: extra bit about XH

[This message edited by Vulcanized at 2:27 AM, October 4th (Friday)]

Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long
Now: happy in life, happily in love with the RIGHT man -----> Everything is as it should be

Posts: 940 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: The Hostile City
♂ 15162
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 4:32 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know for sure the last OM did. I've read the e-mails and chat logs. He thought he knew me very well, and though he knew what was best for me and my kids. He was here to make all of us happy

FBH - 45
FWW - 46 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 10 & 15

The people you do your life with shape the life you live

Posts: 46823 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
♀ 40769
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 5:28 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I first found out, the friend that told me also shared that the girl was bad mouthing me an saying I was selfish and controlling. This friend shared that she defended me, actually using the term "salt of the earth" that made me feel good. When I confronted H what they talked about ( regarding me) he said OW was very insecure because people kept telling her what a great mom I was and how pretty I was. She got pissed when he told her that yes, I was beautiful and a great mother. They had an argument. So he says.
I say good- let her effing worry about it. I want her to know that I am better than her- because I am. I don't need to satisfy my ego by stroking the ego of a broken man.This was not her first time at the OW rodeo either, so I hope she realizes how worthless she really is. Hard to feel proud of yourself when you let people use you to escape from reality. I'd be exciting too if I wasn't picking up his boxers, running the kids all over town and cooking dinner every night. I'm awesome and she can kiss my ass.
Sorry- turned into a vent.
Bottom line- you are awesome and what they had was so false. If you read some of my posts about this, some great people have given me some great clarity on this situation.

Just call me Wonder

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

The axe "forgets"- the tree remembers.

Divorced and super good with tha
2 DS- 15 and 16
DDay 1- 07-24-2013
DDay 2- June something or other 2017

Posts: 1245 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
Member # 39162
Default  Posted: 6:00 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't think she thought she was better than me.
She was very jealous of me by all accounts, and thought her H wanted to be with me (I certainly didn't want to be with him).
She spent a lot of time worming her way into our lives, but I didn't do the same back - really wasn't interested in her life apart from how her kids were doing as I was very fond of them.
My husband also made it plain that I was his number 1 priority and that she was only there because we didn't have enough sex, but that's another story...
In terms of her work though, maybe she did. I once read one of her work reports in front of her, put it down as I felt it was such a load of claptrap but was too polite to say so. That was one of her smirking occasions, think she thought I couldn't understand it. I could,but didn't think it was worth the paper it was written on. But I know she heard a lot of people praising my work so maybe not. Don't know, don't care.

Me - BW (54)
Him - fWS (61)
kiddies - daughters 22 and 27,son 22,
d-day - April 18 2012
15 years on/off LTA
R - but lots of bumps in the long road

Posts: 310 | Registered: May 2013 | From: uk
♀ 27176
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 6:09 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I caught her rolling her eyes at things I would say in social situations.
The degree to which she tried to manipulate me, also indicates that she thought she was much smarter. She was full of backhanded compliments.

While it was all coming from her over-inflated EGO, I certainly think it was her goal to "be better" than me.

I don't really care if she believes she "was or is" better than me. She isn't my measuring stick.

oops I accidentally erased my old signature and I'm sorry for all of my edits, it seems I need glasses.

Posts: 2411 | Registered: Jan 2010
♀ 36519
Member # 36519
Default  Posted: 6:32 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really don't know and I really don't give a shit.

BS (me): 51
WS: 52
Married: 27 yrs
Kids: 2
OW: Co-worker, 7 yr LTA
DD 8/1/2012, Working on R

Posts: 1064 | Registered: Aug 2012
♀ 38116
Member # 38116
Default  Posted: 7:16 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^ wss. Lol

BS - 32
DDay 1: July 2012 - EA with COW
DDay 2: March 2015; same COW

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, pack your shit and get out.

Fool me twice, now what?!?!

Posts: 397 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 39734
Member # 39734
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I imagine she did, just because it was so easy for her to get him into her bed. However, since she tried for 2 years to get him to leave me and that didn't work. And I know he put me down to her. I was a horrible wife because I was "nagging" him to get help for his depression and I was a horrible mother because I let my kids have some freedom and trusted them to do the right thing in life. However, I have to say, I can honestly say that unlike her kids my kids are not strung out teenage mothers and have never spent time in juvenile lockup. Then when I left him, he dumped her and now he is back with me. I'm sure she knows better now! But honestly, I really don't care what she thinks. I know what he thinks of her and I also know that I would never stoop so low as to chase a married man.

Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!

Posts: 240 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 39652
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to blame the WS with the AP thinking they are better. I don't care what my WBF tells me he led her to believe. If she's thinking she tops me, then it has to do with how he led her to believe it.

I realize AP's are crappy people. But when they are in an A, their ego is getting stroked also.

Me : no longer a BW or BGF. Starting over!

Them : in the past, where they can stay.

Posts: 955 | Registered: Jun 2013
♂ 37529
Member # 37529
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OM clearly thought he was not better than me. I have an old letter he wrote many years ago saying just that. He at least knew he was a loser I guess.

BS - Me 38
WS - Wife 39
D-Day - Oct 12
Married 10 years
OM1 - 12-year LTA
OM2 - 9 month A turned into open relationship with couple for another 1 1/2 years

Posts: 489 | Registered: Nov 2012
Topic Posts: 54
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.