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Newest Member: womanoverboard (61125)

User Topic: t/j Funny Reality Check for WS
♀ 38619
Member # 38619
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Morning all,

I haven't had much to post about lately (yay) but I do read daily (don't tell my employer please ).

Well, this morning I was reading a post by Hope2B where she made a comment about her WH that made me . So to bring more laughter to our Friday morning let's hear the funniest, yet truthful, (and maybe meanest ) things we said to our WS. I'll go first.

One of the reasons that my fWH gave for continually going back to the MOW was she told him that sex with him was the greatest thing she ever experienced because he was so 'HUGE'. I was actually dumbfounded and for quite a while after this information was divulged but then I blurted out "I don't understand? I've seen your dick up and close and personal and it's nothing to brag about. Are you sure she was talking about you?"

Who's next?

"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo

Posts: 440 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: East Coast
♀ 39734
Member # 39734
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First of all...

We were driving and I seen a sign for a "ramp dinner". If you have never heard of ramps, they are nasty, foul smelling, root type vegetables. It was on the other side of town. Where we live there is a HUGE rivalry between the north and south sides of town, so bad that the high school rivalry was featured on ESPN. Well we live in on the north side, and Cum dumpster lives on the south side. I said something about of course they had to have the ramp dinner on the south side of town. He said, yeah cause they all stink anyway so no one would know the difference. I said, well... the smell didn't seem to bother you when you were going down on her. That shut him up pretty quick.

He has also always been self conscience of his penis size. He is normal size, but he is a big guy (6'4" and 225 lbs) and thinks that he should be bigger than he is. So I said to him. Weren't you worried she would laugh at your dick when she seen it for the first time?

Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!

Posts: 240 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have never met the OW. I had to scour the interwebz to find a picture of it. Finally found one. Yuck. Wasn't sure it was it as OW has a pretty common name, so called FWH in to ask if this was his OW. He turned a ghastly shade of white and looked like he was going to vomit. Said, yeah, and hasn't aged well.

Me: You think it was attractive?
Him: You see OW's picture. What do you think?
Me: Hey, I didn't fuck it!

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 13304 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
♀ 39906
Member # 39906
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You guys are so funny. Mine isn't really a reality check but I thought it was funny.

When I first suspected something was going on, my husband has this bright idea that if he brings me into the business and I work with her and get to know her I won't be so suspicious and jealous. They convinced me that it was nothing and she began to train me in my own business! after 2 weeks she comes to me and tells me she is 4 weeks pregnant and she was scared to tell my husband. She asks if I will tell him for her. During those 2 weeks I had discovered 2 of the 4 times that they went out. She doesn't know that I know yet. So I said sure, I'll tell him tonight after work. we get home and it's like 4am.
Me: So, I had a nice little chat with OW tonight. Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
H: I'll take the good first
Me: Ow is pregnant & she asked me to tell you because she's afraid to for some strange reason
H: well, what's the bad news?
Me: It's yours!!!

He told me I was sick for saying that! As far as I know it was just an EA but what timing. I still won't rule out that it's not his until the baby is born.

Posts: 1825 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 36456
Member # 36456
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His A was long distance with OW#4. He actually only saw her in person for 4 days in July 2012. Everything else about their true lurve was over the internet and work IM. They broke up in Sept 2012.

We started dating again in November 2012 and he moved home in Feb 2013. A few weeks later, he had to travel to her city for business for the first time since July 2012. I told him that she may look different to him now since he's not in lurve with her.

Sure enough, he sees her in the office on his first day. Takes one look and says to himself "What the hell was I thinking?" He called me that night saying "Wow! You were so right!"

Me (46) WH (42),2 boys 15 & 11
M 18yrs T 22yrs
Separated 10 months (4/12 to 2/13)
Final Total - #1/#2 ONS and #3/#4 EA/PA - left me for #4, didn't know about #2 and 3 until he moved back home
We are solidly in R now

Posts: 792 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Dallas, TX
♀ 36654
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On DDay#2 I was trying to get WH#2 to confess to his on going affair. I did not tell him what I knew or how I knew it, I just told him that his whore knew to go call and ask her what she did. Of course he just kept denying it and said he had no idea what I was talking about, blah, blah, blah. So I went and got a poster board and drew him a picture. It was a picture of him and OW, naked, with captions of them talking about how stupid I must be not to have figured it out yet. Then I told him that I would show up at the next great family gathering with his parents, sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews and display the poster when we all gathered in our usual circle to say what we are thankful for. He just looked at me like a deer in the headlights. I then gave him my proof of the continued affair and told him I would make sure to hand out flyers along with my poster. It was then he decided to confess and end the affair.

BS-54 XWH#2-No longer my monkey
M-11yrs LTA-5yrs Divorced 8/15
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"

Posts: 8880 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
♀ 40358
Member # 40358
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would say over and over again "so she was worth ruining your marriage for" or "the biggest quality I thought u possessed was ethics in your marriage, u have destroyed my trust forever."

Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R

Posts: 142 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
Topic Posts: 7

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