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A Season..

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AFrayedKnot posted 10/4/2013 13:53 PM

Has me in a funk. My head is swirling in memories. No anger or anxiety just deep deep sadness. I'm having a hard time staying in the present( which is really fu*king good)

We are taking back a few major triggers over the next few weeks. Starting to wonder if we are biting off more than I can chew.

We are still 7 weeks til 2nd antiversary. I hope this doesn't last that long.

Landoes posted 10/4/2013 14:11 PM

I'm with you feeling your pain. The A season for me is Sept through Feb
All the good holidays and my bday. It's hard to even think what was going on a year ago.
Staying busy is all we can do.

[This message edited by Landoes at 2:13 PM, October 4th (Friday)]

cantaccept posted 10/4/2013 14:37 PM

In a funk here too.

A season started Aug. 23rd continues through Dec. 18.

First antiversaries for me. Still working through on my own.

I hope it gets easier for you. I think maybe if you have support, real, honest, compassionate support, you will get through.

I hope you have that and can feel it when you need to.

(((Chicho)))

authenticnow posted 10/4/2013 14:41 PM

(((Chicho)))

A season is tough. Take it one day at a time. I know you and Broevil will lean on each other through the rough times.

AML04 posted 10/4/2013 16:59 PM

Ugh, A season. My first is coming up (for the PA, if I was talking EA I would already be in it!) so I have no words of advice just wanted to say I feel your pain.

I've been a f*cking mess the past few days. I can't shake it and it seems to be getting worse. I was going to post but really, I have no idea what to say other than I feel broken right now.

I truly hope you're able to get through this one with the least amount if pain possible.

sailorgirl posted 10/4/2013 20:00 PM

I don't know if it's my introspective personality or what, but staying in the present is not my strong suit!

Reclaiming triggers would definitely be a challenging time to stay in the moment. Could you come up with something easy and positive to look forward to?

jo2love posted 10/4/2013 20:03 PM

(((Chicho)))

AFrayedKnot posted 10/4/2013 22:14 PM

Last year we did a lot of new and fun thing to build new memories. We threw all traditions out the window. It went great. I highly recommend it. Some have become new traditions.

This year we are trying to take back a couple old traditions. These hold memories both good and bad. I don't want to completely abandon them because they have meaning. We want to over write the bad while retaining the good. It seems a little trickier.

ETA: yes AN we are doing it together. And that is what counts.

[This message edited by Chicho at 10:24 PM, October 4th (Friday)]

LosferWords posted 10/5/2013 11:44 AM

((Chicho))

I hear you, man. "A Season" is a little bit different for me. Considering my wife had a 15 year affair, I guess every season is A season. I do have a particular season that gets to me, though, and that was the time of discovery and the six months following, in which I tied dates, events, holidays, etc., into things that my wife and OM were doing while I was trying my best to build a solid relationship and a solid family.

I'm almost three years out, and I've taken a lot of things back and reclaimed them. Yet there's still a couple of things that are simply too much, and I'm not ready to take them back. I'm talking "stupid" things... like two particular restaurants, one of them that I used to go to anyway. One day I will, perhaps. Or perhaps one day I'll just say f*ck 'em, and decide that it's not worth it.

I guess my long winded point is that I can relate, and also, if something is simply too much for you, that is perfectly okay. I think reclaiming things is great, but putting too much pressure on yourself to do so can be counteractive sometimes.

Hang in there, friend. Take care.

Dreamland posted 10/5/2013 12:13 PM

Mine is starting soon.. November Then I have to go through all the holidays big triggers.
Our daughters birthday I suspected something was wrong with him. He didn't make her a birthday card. He always does.. Then our wedding anniversary.. He would always make me a beautiful card.. Zilch ...I thought he was having a midlife thing... I guess l was stupid.. He was in the A ...fucking bastard... It was the worst anniversary ever..

Dreamland posted 10/5/2013 12:13 PM

Mine is starting soon.. November Then I have to go through all the holidays big triggers.
Our daughters birthday I suspected something was wrong with him. He didn't make her a birthday card. He always does.. Then our wedding anniversary.. He would always make me a beautiful card.. Zilch ...I thought he was having a midlife thing... I guess l was stupid.. He was in the A ...fucking bastard... It was the worst anniversary ever..

Marathonwaseasy posted 10/5/2013 16:49 PM

EA lasted nearly 2 years. Slut came to a party in my home at Christmas in 2011. PA from January this year until September. Everything from the past 2 years is sullied.
Not looking forward to Christmas and then January

wifehad5 posted 10/5/2013 17:15 PM

Marathonwaseasy,

Please review the guidelines and description of the Reconciliation forum. No venting or namecalling is allowed.

AFrayedKnot posted 10/5/2013 19:27 PM

So the first take back of the season was today. It was our DS3 and my birthday party and pumpkin picking. Our birthdays are 3 days apart and have had dual party(mostly his) since he was born, with pumpkin picking in the morning before the party.

Two of my birthdays have been ruined by 2 different A's. Last year we went to Sesame Place for DS bday and wanted my birthday not even recognised. It was great.

Today we tried taking back the pumpkin picking and party at the house. It was OK. No triggering. But it just wasn't fun like it used to be. Maybe writing it off for good. We'll see. By next year he will probably want Chuckie Cheese party or something like that anyway.

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