SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

SoOver96 posted 10/4/2013 20:12 PM

When your WS was having A did they say they would be home at a certain time but didn't? Mine said so and he's not home

We just discussed this last night wow I'm the dumb ass here.

RockyMtn posted 10/4/2013 21:00 PM

Yes, mine did that during his 2nd A. During the first one, he was always home when I expected him to be. Being home early or late or on-time is not, in and of itself, an indicator of an A.

However, I think your bigger issue is that in order to reconcile - if that's what you are at least considering, given you are living with him and caring about his whereabouts - he needs to understand that his being home late is a big trigger. It hurts you, it scares you. At this critical time, he can't run late. And if he has to, he needs to communicate with you and prove that he is in an acceptable place. So, whether he is in an ongoing A or not, he's being an ass and totally disregarding your feelings and needs.

SoOver96 posted 10/4/2013 21:23 PM

Your right totally right the ball is in his court I can't do it anymore

Dreamland posted 10/5/2013 00:09 AM

Yes.. Mine always gave me some excuse.. Get this he texted me saying catching the next bus home. I text 30 min layers he says he missed it. Ok??
Walks through the door 3 hours later.
I found out hr was fucking her at the park and ride. I guess he was waiting for her.
Mother fucking bastard. I hate him.

SoOver96 posted 10/5/2013 00:21 AM

I'm sorry That happened to you why do they do this to us we don't deserve this no matter what arguements we have had

yeah his phones off and he said he'd be home at 6 it's 12:19 I can't take anymore so much for proving his love freaking bullshit

gonnabe2016 posted 10/5/2013 02:05 AM

his phones off and he said he'd be home at 6 it's 12:19

Broken1Again posted 10/5/2013 03:11 AM

Yes my WS has done this to me. It's a terrible thing to do to another human being. He will gaslight you OR leave. Be prepared for either or. What are you going to do?

Completelybroken posted 10/5/2013 04:51 AM

Nope mine was always exactly where he said he'd be. I just didn't know that involved fucking someone else. That's what is so hard- I kNEW where he was at all times and it still happened

SoOver96 posted 10/5/2013 08:37 AM

That is fing crazy how can someone do that I couldnt do that I feel guilty just talking to my ex i could never cheat on someone your suppose to love that person obey their vows but I did the 180 I one was to tired to fight been dealing with my 15 year old my poor baby her medicine didn't mix with her yesterday morning. Then IEP meeting for my youngest son and
trying to get my oldest son to do his
sentences for punishment is abattle
in it self I cooked an awesome dinner
Which I started at 6 and got done at 8 cause I didn't want the chicken under done trying to get my boys to sleep before 12 is a losing battle every time their dad is not home my Daughter she hides in her room so I go hunt her Down but she always gives me a smile and says ok. Sorry ranting he got home at 1 was gone when I woke up 15 mins ago he did apologies he said I love you very much ya da ya da I said yeah I'm trying to prove it to you ya da ya da again yeah oh and he can't get ahold of me cause my phone turned off at 12 haha

RedRose posted 10/6/2013 18:27 PM

Yes. Mine said he had to go to work for 20 minutes, and came home 12 hours later with no explanation. Said he had to start a load of laundry at work and wait until it had finished two hours later. And all sorts of other lies. When he took the A underground, he made sure to get home on time every night. Now, we gave a GPS tracker on his phone :)

SoOver96 posted 10/6/2013 18:42 PM

I tried putting a Gps on his phone he wasn't having that at all. But he just lost his job he has no reason to be anywhere without me :-P he does do side jobs like lawn mowing and snow shoveling but when he was doing it two years ago I never seen it ugh hopefully this time it will be different