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This weekend's story/prayers please

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musiclovingmom posted 10/4/2013 21:55 PM

This is long.

Characters:
Me
ExHusband-XH
Our daughter - K
His step daughter - C
New wife - NW

Today is the day XH and I switch K. She went back to spend her week with him after school. About 4:30, I got a call from K's aunt letting me know that she was at grandpa's because C was in the hospital. Before I could voice my concern for C's health, aunt continues that C (9yrs old) tried to strangle herself with her shoelace at school today and would most likely be spending 72 hours in the behavioral health unit for observation. I contact XH to see if he needs me to come get K for the night or the next few days and he says no, but does confirm that C is in the hospital.
Now, this comes as special concern to me. Before XH and NW were married, NW's oldest son was institutionalized for a month for attempted suicide. He was 9. He is now still in intense psychiatric care and is homeachooled because of social issues. It strikes me as very odd that there are two suicidal children in the same household. It also has me concerned - first for my daughter and her emotional and physical well being.
I call an officer to share the story and see what should be my next step. He is immediately concerned about C and the incident that put her in the hospital. He makes some calls and finds that it has not been reported to the school resource officer or any city police officer and the hospital refuses to confirm or deny that C has been admitted. Which now has me worried that it happened at home, not school.
The officer has given my number to a CYFD case worker who is supposed to contact me tomorrow. If what I share with her is concerning, she will conduct a home visit to verify the safety of XH's household. There are many potential ripples to this because XH has a medical marijuana card and 5 children in the house. The laws about medical use in a home where there are children are not well defined in my state and XH could end up in jail.
Both XH and NW have blamed me in the past for any dealings they have with the police and I know that a CYFD visit will not make them happy. My XH acts on his anger before he has time to think rationally. So, I'm a little scared.
So, if you're the praying type, please pray for K's well being. Please pray for courage and protection for me (and K should XH decide to retaliate against her - which I doubt). Please pray for C. I can't imagine a 9 yr old wanting to take their own life.

jjsr posted 10/4/2013 22:12 PM

I hope everything is good for you and your dd. I think you did the right thing. You have to keep your dd safe

jo2love posted 10/5/2013 09:33 AM

Sending prayers, strength, and good thoughts.

jjct posted 10/5/2013 09:47 AM

Oh mercy! Prayers up... keep us posted if you can.

musiclovingmom posted 10/5/2013 12:01 PM

So far, NW is pissed that aunt told me anything. CYFD cannot confirm if a report was made because C is not my child, but assured me that if C was at the hospital for attempting to harm herself, then the hospital staff would have filed a report with the on call case worker. That report would be investigated.

persevere posted 10/5/2013 17:08 PM

Under the circumstances you didn't really have any choice but to do what you did. If there is nothing to hide, there won't be a problem. The safety of your child has to come first for you. If they don't get that - that is not your problem.

musiclovingmom posted 10/8/2013 11:53 AM

So, here we are on Tuesday. NW is still angry at aunt for saying anything. C did not have to stay even overnight at the hospital. There were no reports made to the school and the detective I talked to contacted the hospital who refused to confirm C had or had not been seen. NW works at the hospital. This is still a who you know town. It certainly appears that C was seen 'under the table' meaning that there is no report and therefore no involvement from CYFD. I cannot file a complaint over this incident because I only heard it happened. How the hell am I supposed to protect my child? Seriously though, any ideas? Is a psychologist tasked with reporting this behavior? I can't just take her without facing legal ramifications myself.

tushnurse posted 10/8/2013 12:20 PM

Jeezo pete - What a story.

To answer your last question the only time a Dr, Medical professional or Clergy are mandated to report are when they with their clinical knowledge and skills feel that an individual is a danger to themselves or others.

Now who knows what really happened, it certainly sounds like this group of folks is not the cream of society, with prior references to police, and concerns about having "medical Marijuana" around 5 kids.
However if they NW reported it to the hospital that her daughter attempted to harm herself in anyway the hospital would be mandated to report that to Children services. But if they decided that they would tell a different story, and everyone told the same story at the hospital, then no report would have been made. There is no way to MAKE someone tell the truth.

I would however consider talking with your Attorney in regard to your parenting agreement given what is going on in that home. I know I would not want my young child in a home where marijuana is being used (and I am not a prude but I wouldn't want my kid being exposed to it) there are other kids there, that aren't siblings with emotional issues, esp teenage boys. Just seems like a perfect storm for something unfavorable to happen.

I will send up a prayer, and mojo your way for a peaceful week, and that your DD isn't too involved or effected by any of this.

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