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jjsr (original poster member #34353) posted at 4:26 AM on Saturday, October 5th, 2013
encouragement to the new ones joining us. I know right now as you have just had your life blown apart it seems like it is never going to get better, you are always going to feel devastated, and you are going to be eating shit sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I do want to tell you it does get better. I think whether you end up Ring or Divorcing, time does help some. You will learn to deal with all of this I promise. It wont always feel like a Mac Truck is sitting on your chest. I am a little past 2 yrs out. Things are not perfect, but we are working on it, I can sleep and life has its routine back mostly. We do have a new normal. I promise it will get better
Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.
OK now ( member #14459) posted at 2:17 PM on Saturday, October 5th, 2013
Good advice jjsr. It also helps to redefine the marriage. The BS has been betrayed in the worst way and their self-esteem is probably in the dumps. I like the comment on doggiediva's posts:
Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite
Be a little selfish and focus on yourself and your own needs.
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 5:14 PM on Saturday, October 5th, 2013
I completely agree. In the beginning it's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it absolutely exists. 
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
AFrayedKnot ( member #36622) posted at 10:42 AM on Sunday, October 6th, 2013
BS 48fWS 44 (SurprisinglyOkay)DsD DSA whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better."Knowing is half the battle"
silentheart ( member #40903) posted at 6:59 PM on Monday, October 7th, 2013
Your post was encouraging. Thank you! I am one year out from D-day but some days it feels like I just found out and I am still to this day not sure about the R.
Some days it does feel like I will feel this pain forevery!
Me: BW, 37
Him: SO, 37
No children
Committed relationship 13 years
Dday: July, 2012
SuperDuperWonderboy ( member #34716) posted at 8:16 PM on Monday, October 7th, 2013
Some days it does feel like I will feel this pain forever
You won't. And it gets less and less. Take it one day at a time. After a while you'll look around and find that you can breathe again. Believe it or not, one day, you'll wake up to a beautiful, joyful day.
My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.
megs56 ( member #40791) posted at 8:32 PM on Monday, October 7th, 2013
Thank you for posting kind words and encouragement jjsr (and everyone else after). You made me smile and reading this thread made my day better. :)
2013:
Me: BGF - 29
Him: WBF - 32
2014 - I broke up with him and now I am trying to heal.
Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie.
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