He never got over his anger and bitterness toward them and he latched on to anyone who showed him the smallest amount of attention.
I would suggest that he wasn't latching on to 'attention', but that he was seeking out those willing to show him 'Admiration'.
Personally, 'admiration' is my highest need.
I learned this when I read the book, 'His Needs, Her Needs' by Dr. Willard Harley.
In some circles it's called 'words of affirmation' rather than admiration. From the book, 'The Five Love Languages', by Gary Chapman. Another really good book, just not as in depth.
I prefer to call it admiration.
Admiration was a tough one for me, without realizing it, I frequently refused to accept it from my wife in the ways she offered it, yet I was actively seeking it out from others.
My lack of boundaries and my willingness to accept/crave admiration from others was a recipe for disaster.
When my wife and I began to understand my need for admiration, we were able to change our relationship to meet this need together. It was tough in the beginning due to my adultery. It was tough for my wife to find admirable qualities through the day when her mind was replaying the pain I caused again and again. I had to allow enough time and enough admirable behavior to overcome my presence also being one of her sources of pain.....
[This message edited by Card at 1:07 PM, October 5th (Saturday)]
D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007
"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!
Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin