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User Topic: Birthday pre-dday vs. birthday post-dday
♀ 18429
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In December it will be 6 years post DDay. Whew!

Pre-DDay, actually right around the time I believe he had his first A, he totally "forgot" my birthday once. I can't even see how he can claim to forget it, because I mentioned it several times THAT day. Still, even after mentioning it several times, he didn't even bother to tell my Happy Birthday, and that hurt so badly! The rest of my pre-dday birthdays were all similar to each other... I would get a card that he would write something that he might write to his sister (nothing mushy or affectionate at all), and maybe dinner or a small gift like a DVD or something. That's it. No biggie, I was happy with it at the time.

Post DDay birthday's are totally different. The first birthday after DDay, I had just started a brand new job a few days before and was in training with lots of people. He made cupcakes (enough for the whole class), picked up some balloons, and brought them to my work. He presented them to me in front of my class and told me to share with everyone. WOW! When I got to my car after work that day, there was a rose and a card on my seat. It was wonderful! The birthdays following that have been slightly less spectacular, but they have always been more thoughtful than pre-dday.

My birthday is next week, and I'm the only one who has any obligations that day. I have to work. The kids are out of school, and it's his day off from work regularly. LAME on me! So, he calls me on Thursday and asks if he can take me away to a cabin for the weekend before my birthday, just us and the kids, and we can explore the mountains and lakes and have fun just as a family. This is SUCH a difference from the man who gave me cards only for my birthday before DDay. And I'm SOOO happy to have him!!!

Interestingly enough, this is actually the man that I thought I was married to all along. I just was too in love to see that he wasn't. Now, I can see clearly since the rose colored glasses are gone, and I can see for a fact that the man I THOUGHT I married, is indeed the man I'm married to today. It's a great day, and it's going to be a great weekend!

Happy reconciliation thoughts and actions to us all this weekend!

DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than ever before, trying to fix something we thought we already had. It's

Posts: 4467 | Registered: Feb 2008
♀ 12802
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kids on the playground can be so cruel. “Get off the swings you’re like 50, and stop talking about Soundgarden, we don't even know what that is."

Posts: 14938 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excellent. Thanks for sharing the hope!

Posts: 30662 | Registered: Dec 2010
♀ 40166
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love this. Thank you.

Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 1127 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
♂ 40222
Member # 40222
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I had a similar situation.
My Wgf sent the OM something for his bday, and I had to text her from work that it was my bday. The more I post the more I realize I should run for the hills.
I'm not celebrating much this year.

Posts: 74 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 33867
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy Birthday!

Kudos to your H for stepping up and making YOU special. Enjoy your birthday getaway with your family.

ME: 57 BS
HIM: 64 WH
Married: 32 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 6 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.

Posts: 2441 | Registered: Nov 2011
Topic Posts: 6

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