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why if i'm no longer enough for him?

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cuppacoffee posted 10/5/2013 13:58 PM

I was my husband's only until he had his affair. I was his first kiss, first girlfriend, first everything. (I had dated before him.)

We were 19 when we started dating and then got married at 21. We are now 33.

Part of the reason that he gave for his A was that he had only been with me and wanted to know what it was like to get with someone else.

What if I'm not enough for him anymore? What if he wants to explore more and do different things?
What if I'm not what he wants anymore?

He assures me that he loves me more now than he ever did. But we haven't had sex in two weeks. He blames it on his meds and being 'older' but last year he was able to have sex with some skank from work 3 times. He said it was just quick nothing special sex at work. We used to have sex 3-4 nights a week. Now it's nothing.

Maybe it's me he doesn't want any more.

SoOver96 posted 10/5/2013 15:35 PM

I feel ya have you told him all this is he one to blow up? If,so wait till he's in a good mood

sparklezombie posted 10/5/2013 16:07 PM

I'm in a very similar situation. We dated through high school and married at 21. And after his serial cheating I'm not sure how I can be enough or how we can make this work sometimes.

RidingHealingRd posted 10/6/2013 01:21 AM

He blames it on his meds and being 'older'

Meds maybe but getting older? He's 33!

My WH 60! that's getting older but early 30's?

I don't know your story but are you certain the A is over?

swruger posted 10/6/2013 11:37 AM

Sorry to hear what you are going through.

Part of the reason that he gave for his A was that he had only been with me and wanted to know what it was like to get with someone else.

Just my opinion, but the above just doesn't fly for me. It was not an honest answer, just an excuse, just a cover up.

What if I'm not enough for him anymore? What if he wants to explore more and do different things?
What if I'm not what he wants anymore?

He should be at your feet, begging your mercy and forgiveness; doing anything and everything to make you happy and to believe in him.

From the little I know, it all has to do with him, not you. Just an opinion.

Age 33 affecting sex life, I don't think so. Meds maybe, but not 33 years old.

cuppacoffee posted 10/6/2013 15:25 PM

The logical part of me says no the a is over. He was unemployed for 6 weeks and never left my sight. I check his phone all of the time.
In the past meds did affect his preformance and frequency. When he first went on meds predday it was almost three weeks between sex.


Of course I freak out like its because of the skank.
He keeps on promising sex but it hasn't happened yet.

I just feel like the a opened up Pandora's box. I will always be compared to skankface and if he ever gets with anyone else that I would then be compared to then we are back to an a.

I doubt this skank was magical unicorn sex. They did it at work on the dirty floor and well I know how to get him going. She didn't but she was a newer non birth giving woman. I'm all used and stuff.

nomistakeaboutit posted 10/6/2013 17:35 PM

He did say "forsaking all others" in his vows, right. He didn't say, "forsaking all others until I see something else I might like, also."

His cheating has nothing to do with you and what you might have or lack in the sex department. If he wants to explore more??.? Uhhhhhh, that's not acceptable in a marriage. Let him know that, point blank. If that's what he needs, he can do it, but he can't be married to you and do it.

Don't make this a problem about you. It's not. He has created a huge problem by doing what he did, and it's not your fault or because of you in any way.

Good luck.

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