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One thousand apologies

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HiSwIfEy03 posted 10/6/2013 01:10 AM

Hi all, long time since posting. It's been 6 years since I found out about my Fws A and 4 years since my A. We have actually been really well, having adding 2 new LO to our lives a year apart from one another so our ds-8 is now a big brother to 2 baby brothers

I haven't triggered in a good while but today I had a trigger that really rocked me. my H was out but i txtd him about it and he apologized and said he would be home soon so we could talk. A few minutes later i saw that he posted a song called one thousand apologies on our FB page from Demon Hunter (my fave band)

These are the lyrics.
One Thousand Apologies

There you stood in disbelief
Trying all you could to see
Through these lies

And every word that I could breathe
Would find you more inclined to leave
But I tried, I tried

And knowing what I've done to you
With every thought you suffer through
My heart as black as evil can

And everything I could've been
Erased by what I wanted then
I couldn't think a lesser man

All the delicate ways
That had deepened our graves
My apology pales

Oh, the pain in your eyes
My regrets have never known such sorrow
Oh, the shame that you hide
Resolutions are the same tomorrow

So now I reap what I have sown
And any rapture I had shown
Has bled dry

And I walked the streets alone
Accepting the pain I'd never known
As you died, you died

Then I hurt myself to see it too
To feel the knife I put in you
My heart is broken as my ways

I never should've let it pass
This fall was never meant to last
The reason gone and damage stays

All the delicate ways
That had deepened our graves
My apology pales

Oh, the pain in your eyes
My regrets have never known such sorrow
Oh, the shame that you hide
Resolutions are the same tomorrow

Count the cost in your vile means
Solace comes to less


All the delicate ways
That had deepened our graves
My apology pales

Oh, the pain in your eyes
My regrets have never known such sorrow
Oh, the shame that you hide
Resolutions are the same tomorrow

Oh, the pain in your eyes
My regrets have never known such sorrow
Oh, the shame that you hide
Resolutions are the same tomorrow

I deepened our graves.

It was exactly what I needed him to say.. even if it wasn't technically him saying it. I knew it came from his heart. It reminded me that he gets it, we both do. and I think of how far we've come together

AFrayedKnot posted 10/6/2013 05:09 AM

Nest2007 posted 10/6/2013 05:54 AM

Amazing lyrics. They just say it all.

A-maz-ing.

harrypotter posted 10/6/2013 06:20 AM

I glad to see that this can be done! I am currently deployed and things are so very hard for both of us. I wish so much that I could do this for her (help her through something just some small piece of pain) Thank you for sharing I needed to know that this can be done. Happy for you both!

HiSwIfEy03 posted 10/7/2013 23:02 PM

Yes, it can definitely be done. Not easy in the slightest but it can be done and its so worth it things were difficult to deal with during his deployments too. With a lot of hard work on both our ends we have come a long way from our d-days. I'm not saying things are like the way they used to be before any of our As but we are stronger as a couple and we are happier than we have been in a long time. Don't give up!

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