SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives
R with a passive aggressive spouse?
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
sparklezombie posted 10/6/2013 05:47 AM
Anyone here trying r with a passive aggressive spouse? Wh is definitely pa and I'm wondering how r would even work for us. Is it worth trying, etc. we are in mc now. Only been to our new mc once so far so we haven't really gotten into much. Just wanted to see if anyone is r with someone like this.m
jo2love posted 10/6/2013 12:34 PM
Bumping so that others who can related, will read and give advice.
emotionalgirl posted 10/6/2013 12:45 PM
Hi sparklezombie...my WH is the definition of passive aggressive. I have been reading a book called closing the passive aggressive defiance gap which has some great info.
My advice, it is kind of like doing part of the 180. When my WH gets all sulky and closed mouth I just leave him to stew and go about my own business. He comes around eventually and spills what is bugging him. I do not show in any way that his behaviour is bothering me ( even though it drives me crazy...it's like dealing with a two year old). It actually makes him nuts that I am ignoring him. It is as if they are looking for a certain reaction and when they don't get it the behaviour stops.
To be honest when I look at our past history...his passive aggressive behaviour turned me into a self conscious nervous wreck who coddled him. When I went 180 on his ass because of the affair, his behaviour changed and in fact he mentioned that I am more the person that he fell in love with.
Good luck. It is hard I know but it can be manageable with a little moderation of the way we as BS react.
jjsr posted 10/6/2013 13:45 PM
FWH is pa. Drives me batty sometimes. MC has worked with him somewhat on this and sometimes now FWH sees he is being pa which is improvement. I think FWH pa will be with us always because it is a part of who he is but he is more aware of it now.