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Newest Member: 321maison

New Beginnings :
Steps

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 tesla (original poster member #34697) posted at 1:53 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2013

Yesterday was one of the neatest days of my non-dating NB and I just had to share.

After ex-shat left, I was panicked as a SAHM...I had no idea how I was going to get back into the workforce since we lived in an area that I'm not originally from. I remember putting in 10+ teaching applications to area school districts. No calls back. Not. One.

One day on a district website I saw an opening for assistant girls cross country coach for the local high school. I ran cross country in high school and have been running ever since. I figured I've got nothing to lose, so I applied. Almost didn't get the job because the head coach was looking for more of a cheerleader than someone who had knowledge...but he decided to take a chance and go a different route than what he had in the past.

That first year coaching them was fun and a needed distraction from the D and ex-shat antics. But D and ex-shat antics were definetely in the foreground and coaching was in the background.

This season that shifted. The further out I've gotten from D, the more mental energy I've had freed up to spend on my girls. They are the daughters I will never have. I love watching them gain confidence and attain their goals. I love being that other adult in their lives that they can come and share their joys and sorrows with. And I really love teaching them to run!

Yesterday, they had their conference meet and won it by one point over our rival to claim the conference championship. (If you know cross country, you know what a big deal winning by a point is). It's the first time they have done that in their school's history. I was so proud and grateful to have the opportunity to be involved in it.

When I first joined SI, I remember reading that the best revenge is a life well-lived. You know what, I didn't even think about that yesterday...didn't even think about ex-shat at all. Didn't once say to myself: "Ha! Ex-shat, my life is so much better and I've shown you!" Nope, not once did I think that because I don't care. I don't care about comparing my life to his life anymore. I just live my life and love it now.

Thanks for letting me share

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6512699
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NaiveAgain ( member #20849) posted at 3:21 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2013

That is an awesome post and it is really neat to see how you have grown into the position.

You sound like you are in a good place right now. I'm glad!

Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

posts: 16236   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2008   ·   location: Ohio
id 6512767
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:47 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2013

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6512781
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cmego ( member #30346) posted at 3:48 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2013

me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced

posts: 4745   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: South
id 6512784
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 3:49 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2013

That's awesome!!

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5648   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 6512786
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macakipa ( member #33735) posted at 4:00 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2013

Love it

M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

posts: 952   ·   registered: Oct. 26th, 2011
id 6512799
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 4:53 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2013

Love

This.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21594   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6512852
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ruinedandbroken ( member #29250) posted at 5:19 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2013

I love this post!

I went to my first XC meet yesterday to cheer on my son's friend. The excitement in the air was so fun! I have recently gotten into running so it was so cool for me to watch the kids try so hard to beat their times. So many kids were crossing the finish line wearing only one shoe because their shoe had fallen off in the course and they wouldn't stop to put in on. I loved it! Made me wish I could go back to HS myself and run XC. :)

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21

posts: 1622   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2010
id 6512875
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seekingright2013 ( member #37991) posted at 5:32 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2013

That is awesome! Thank you so much for sharing this.


“I tramp a perpetual journey.”
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

posts: 139   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Red State SE US
id 6512884
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wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 7:26 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2013

Awesome, tesla!

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

posts: 16592   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2006   ·   location: Somewhere
id 6512977
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Artemisia ( member #40564) posted at 9:15 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2013

Claps, claps, claps! Thank you for posting.

posts: 117   ·   registered: Sep. 5th, 2013
id 6513079
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phmh ( member #34146) posted at 1:52 AM on Monday, October 7th, 2013

Great job, and so inspirational! That truly is the best revenge, and even better that you don't really care. Yay!!! And congrats!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 6513330
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Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 3:30 AM on Monday, October 7th, 2013

Yay! So happy for you Tesla.

[This message edited by Bluebird26 at 9:30 PM, October 6th (Sunday)]

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

posts: 1530   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6513421
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tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 4:00 AM on Monday, October 7th, 2013

That's awesome, tesla! Way to go as a coach and as an enlightened being who has left her dungbeetle ex and moved on to the state of "meh"!

FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

posts: 4079   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011
id 6513453
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 5:08 AM on Monday, October 7th, 2013

Just an awesome post tesla - just what I needed.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6513500
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numbandnauseous ( member #34525) posted at 5:36 AM on Monday, October 7th, 2013

Congratulations, tesla and girls' cross country team!!!! (hands clapping icon)

Much hope for continued happy days like this in your NB!!!!

BS (me) - 50
WH - 58, EA with HS GF x 2, now deceased
M: 15 years, T: 20, divorced
2 teenage children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)

posts: 828   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2012   ·   location: the other side
id 6513522
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fraeuken ( member #30742) posted at 5:57 AM on Monday, October 7th, 2013

Tesla, as a mom of 2 girls I am so thankful for women like you.

DD16 has a wonderful, inspiring water polo coach. This lady made sure DD16 would re-join the team when she was going through a period of depression; she rallied the troops and DD16 got back into the sport and now is captain of the JV team.

Thank you so much for your dedication. And maybe you will that daughter one day, maybe a step daughter?

Keep going strong!

Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

posts: 1334   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6513532
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Bebba1171 ( member #33857) posted at 1:56 PM on Monday, October 7th, 2013

Way to go Tesla!!

Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 54Me) / XWW 52
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

posts: 734   ·   registered: Nov. 8th, 2011   ·   location: Western Kentucky
id 6513703
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MyVoice ( member #35695) posted at 2:36 PM on Monday, October 7th, 2013

awesome post thanks for sharing and congrats on living life well

[This message edited by MyVoice at 8:37 AM, October 7th (Monday)]

Me:BW 46, Him:WH 50
two kids DD14 and DS17
Married 26 years
OW 28, crew member (he was the ships captain)
"People are formed by their actions, not their ideals" unknown

posts: 493   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6513742
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Newlease ( member #7767) posted at 3:30 PM on Monday, October 7th, 2013

I know that some sports are overemphasized in our world today, but it has been my experience that extra-curricular activities enhance the learning process in school.

This is particularly true when great caring coaches like you step up.

Bravo!

NL

Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

posts: 8471   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2005
id 6513802
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