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It truly baffles me that I was married to such an idiot. I can only conclude that perhaps I too used to be a supreme fool but somehow managed to break through to intellectual englightenment.

This idiot texts me today:

When and where is our court date. I can't find the paper...

What? The? Fuck?

Responses I've toyed around with sending:

I would check with the lawyer you were having draw up the countersuit, surely he/she knows.

OR

Actually, I misplaced my paper, too. I also fired my lawyer, so I can't check with her. Gosh, if you find your paper, would you let me know the date and place?

OR

Give me back my dog.

Ok, I'm going crickets here. I can't fathom why he would think the person he threatened to countersue for thousands of dollars would be helpful to him.

Crickets. He fired you, remember? I'm amazed he can wipe his own ass, this guy.

Oh Jeez...

Crickets

Is it on the Google calendar? We all know how much he checks it.

Anyway, it's not your job to keep track of dates and times. He can ask "what's her name." She's in charge of keeping track of things for him now.

If you really feel the need to respond - "I don't know. I can't find my paper, either. Please let me know when you locate yours."

Sheesh! How irresponsible of him. Do you think this could be a veiled attempt to reach out to you and get a conversation started on the topic of the suit? Perhaps to "friend" you into dropping it? I agree with other posters - crickets is most likely your best response. Anything else runs the risk of giving him leverage in one way or another.

I imagine that you, like me, are probably glad that your body cells constantly regenerate. That way every part of our bodies that ever touched our stupid/perverted ex spouse are new again, clean & uncontaminated by their collective lunacy.

Wow, WTF! He is all kinds of special

Is it *bad* that I can't stop laughing???!???

This is your chance to tell him any date you want, tesla. What happens if he doesn't show?

April Fools day sounds fitting don't you think.

What about a response along the lines of

"If you paid what you owed we wouldn't need a court date to enforce you doing the right thing, nor would you have the pesky requirement to remember a date.

Ps- give me the dog back douche"

I don't really advocate a response but he sure makes it easy to want to get a jab in

Although its not really a sport with him, at least not a fair one

My Ex does that same thing!!!

I honestly dont get it

was he always that big of an idiot?
probably so... I think both your ex and mine were spared all the organization/paperwork during M because their organized and responsible wives did it.

now they just look like those bumbling idiot villains in an after-school Disney special

wow.

Laughing my butt off here. I think you should respond, "Return the dog" to everything, and anything he contacts you about!

How about, I'll tell you the date, if you give me my dog back.

What an idiot. He counter sues you, then nicely asks you for the date so he can meet you in court?

Dating stripperwhore is making him dumber by the week!

You should tell him to give you the dog back, then you will let him know the date. Then you give him the wrong date and time,lmao.

Jay-sus.

What about one of those fake websites that people use to break up with people? Is there one that just flashes:

"U R AN IDIOT"?

Alas, crickets is best.

I called up my friend to give him this latest ex-shat gem. We had a good laugh over it and then my friend, funny guy that he is, just texted me this:

I'm gonna take you to the cleaners bitch!! Oh by the way, when is that shit happening anyway? Every time I ask my lawyer, he just looks at me and laughs...asshole.

And that pretty much sums it up, doesn't it?

tesla, I have to admit I get a smile on my face every time I come into D/S and see that you've posted a new quote from the brainless wonder.

And I vote for #3, in response to every single text he sends, ever. Every.single.time. Eventually you could abbreviate it to GMBMD, just to make it extra easy for yourself. And because I cannot wait for you to tell us he asked what it stood for.

I think during your marriage you were just too close to the stupidity forcefield and it disrupted your brain waves. Or maybe he was more normal because he was so close to your forcefield. After all, look what has happened since he isn't near your forcefield. By George, I think that's it.

[This message edited by kernel at 9:05 PM, October 6th (Sunday)]

"Can't stripperwhore tell you? Oh right I forgot she has pink eye and can't see the calendar"

I'm gonna take you to the cleaners bitch!! Oh by the way, when is that shit happening anyway? Every time I ask my lawyer, he just looks at me and laughs...asshole.

Stop! I have tears running down my legs!!

That is EXACTLY it.