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Newest Member: WishingINeverLooked

Reconciliation :
A bad weekend here too

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 AppleBlossom (original poster member #38541) posted at 11:10 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2013

Hi all, I havent been on much, its been school holidays here in Oz and well, say no more.

I had a bad weekend. For reasons apart from the situation with my FWF, I have been facing a lot of issues in my life, and been peeling back the layers of the onion. The death of my mother, the breakdown of my last marriage, the abuse by my father - I have been dealing with it, and that is hard.

I didnt realise (duh) that as part of that process I would also feel the loss and grief that I experienced a year ago when my FWF was unfaithful.

Well, this weekend I sort of lost it. I cried a lot, was really angry and distressed. He was kind of helpless, didnt know what to do and so did all the wrong things.

I was up until 2am this morning crying while he slept. It was like I had ripped a band aid off, but to be honest, I think it was a good thing.

He sent me this email this morning:-

"I am sorry that I didn't react the way you wanted or needed me to yesterday. I feel that when you get sad and upset about what happened you lash out and that is the reason why I am reluctant to reach out and hold you. I am not sure if it is fear on my side of being hurt or just uncomfortable in that situation or maybe both. I know what I should do but struggle to do it, I will try to work on that so I can provide you more support. I will not turn my back on us and will not walk away, I am more committed to this relationship than ever before.

I love you."

I like his honesty and acknowledgement. I feel so safe knowing that I can go through what I did and he gives me such commitment.

So hope here too.

posts: 154   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Australia
id 6513169
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 1:27 AM on Monday, October 7th, 2013

(((Apple)))

I'm sorry you are having a rough weekend. Hopefully, the coming days are better. Your FWF's text was so open and heartfelt. A good step in the right direction.

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6513314
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TheAmazingWondertwin ( member #40769) posted at 11:23 AM on Monday, October 7th, 2013

I am sorry so for your struggles. But what an open and honest message from your WS. One of the best things mine has done is reach out when he knows I am hurting and just say "I want to help but don't know how" it means the world to me.

I wish you peace and strength.

Just call me Wonder

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

The axe "forgets"- the tree remembers.

Divorced and super good with tha
2 DS- 15 and 16
DDay 1- 07-24-2013
DDay 2- June something or other 2017

posts: 1251   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2013   ·   location: East Coast
id 6513619
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