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Newest Member: HisSweetness (61833)

User Topic: Now What
♀ 40382
Member # 40382
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I posted a few times and told my story. I caught him in an many affairs over the years and in chat rooms with several different women. This time I reached my breaking point and told him to get out.he left , moved out west. Now he says he will always love me but he's not in love with me ?? Is that the ultimate kiss off or what? He says he won't come home to try to repair the damage because I would crucify him for the rest of his life and he refuses to live like that. He doesn't even want to try to fight for our marriage and our family, He called both of his daughters and left them messages to say goodbye. He knows how to cut people out of his life, I have seen him do it with his family members. In the past I have always forgave him and begged him to work things out. now that I am not begging he is pulling further and further away. I want to call him, just because I just want this pain and darkness to go away. It's been 9 weeks and he has just stopped all contact with me. I want to call him sometimes so bad, but I don't. How can a man just walk away from his family and his life? I don't understand??? What does this mean, is he done ?? I think a man would only give this all up for something or someone else. We were the envy of our family and friends, beautiful home, both retired, money to travel wonderful children, I thought we had it all. He is an old man, 66 yrs old with several health issues. I just am at a lose to figure this out. thanks for listening. C

Posts: 91 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Calif.
♂ 17484
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:02 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry.
I hope you can soon get to the point where you stop trying to figure out his fucked-up-ness and turn to your own healing.

You shouldn't beg, or even have to beg for love and respect.
Try to see it as him doing you a favor, and respect yourself - like going on a diet and losing 200 pounds of asshole.
No Contact = no new hurts.

Be strong cardnial!

Posts: 7269 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
♀ 40592
Member # 40592
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry, wrong thread!!

[This message edited by NoAnswers37 at 6:39 AM, October 7th (Monday)]

Live without pretending
Love without depending
Listen without defending
Speak without offending

Posts: 122 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: England
♀ 40684
Member # 40684
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im sorry he is causing you all this pain. Please take this time to take care of yourself. Don't beg him to come back or contact him at all. He has made his choice, you need to take care of yourself and your family.

BS: Me (30)
WS: Husband (31)
Married 8 years, together 9
D-Day: Sept 10, 2013
D-Day2: May 31, 2014
Children: 5, ages 7, 5, 3, 1 and due in September

Leaning towards leaving, no one deserves this pain.

Posts: 205 | Registered: Sep 2013
♀ 16482
Member # 16482
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex did the same thing and yes he had an OW out west.Your WH shows no remorse and is blameshifting.

Time to Lawyer up to find out your rights and options. I am older than you and I can tell you, in the end, it's the money you need long after he is gone.

I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.

Posts: 9588 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
♀ 40903
Member # 40903
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry for your situation. It makes me sad reading your post because I know those feelings all too well. Just wanting him to call, to fight for me, to be willing to do whatever it takes. But it sounds like he is being very selfish and has only his own agenda on his mind. I agree with the other posts. It is time to take care of yourself!!

Me: BW, 37
Him: SO, 37
No children
Committed relationship 13 years
Dday: July, 2012

Posts: 51 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Texas
♀ 40382
Member # 40382
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone for your input. Everyone says to start building my own dreams now because this life with H is over. But my God it's so very hard and sad. Some days are ok. but a couple days ago I went to my mothers grave, she adored my H. I know she's not there but I had to tell her what happened and I just had a freaking melt down. H has shut me out completely, no text, no emails, nothing. He knew that would just kill me. I am trying to learn grace, I don't want to walk out a bitter women. I want to at least have my integrity when it's all over. Oh and most of his money as well.

Posts: 91 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Calif.
Topic Posts: 7

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