Took a while, but I like the me I am, without him
I spent too long looking at OW's facebook page, trying to glean something about her and her life and why she would do this horrible thing. Making sure that they still weren't together.
I am not sure what I was hoping to find, but I didn't find it. I just drove myself crazy obsessing. Just try to step back and wait for the urge to pass.
[This message edited by ninebark at 9:35 AM, October 7th (Monday)]
Last week, I blocked her on facebook, and felt fantastic!
You can do it when you're ready, Softcentre. Let us know.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!
We were each other's firsts. He is my only. He swears that technically he didn't actually have sex with her because he just couldn't get it up. While I'm still not sure I believe this, the facts and some other things do bear it out. But I'm pretty sure that if they are now together (he says not) they will be having sex.
That would make a difference to me. I'm not sure why. Maybe it would be easier to let go. Maybe I'd feel able to take my wedding rings off. It would certainly be easier for me to actually file.
And I think some of it is because since I started doing the 180,he's actually started doing things that he said he would and not just procrastinating. So part of me is trying to work out if he is starting to come out of the fog (although he hasn't broken contact with her)OR whether he's heading towards filing himself and so isn't trying to passive aggressively fight me any more because I'm not that important any more? It's strange, it was almost easier when he was acting like a jerk. This being helpful is out of character...but what I've been looking for, for years
Bit by bit the truths I learned smothered any and all hope of R... I nneded it to stay strong and keep some anger in the mix to follow through and do what I never imagined I could ever do - D the man I married. Snooping proved to me over and over - he was not the man I thought I married.