NG - I think that I'm wanting to know if they're together or not.
We were each other's firsts. He is my only. He swears that technically he didn't actually have sex with her because he just couldn't get it up. While I'm still not sure I believe this, the facts and some other things do bear it out. But I'm pretty sure that if they are now together (he says not) they will be having sex.
That would make a difference to me. I'm not sure why. Maybe it would be easier to let go. Maybe I'd feel able to take my wedding rings off. It would certainly be easier for me to actually file.
And I think some of it is because since I started doing the 180,he's actually started doing things that he said he would and not just procrastinating. So part of me is trying to work out if he is starting to come out of the fog (although he hasn't broken contact with her)OR whether he's heading towards filing himself and so isn't trying to passive aggressively fight me any more because I'm not that important any more? It's strange, it was almost easier when he was acting like a jerk. This being helpful is out of character...but what I've been looking for, for years
Finally reached indifference & looking forward to my new beginning