I feel the same way...plus I had a chance to test this new feeling last night...see my recent post for details.
It feels refreshing to get the anger out of the way so that I can feel the pain and saddness longer....refreshing because this is a necessary step to processing the "whole" that is my wifes affair. This is what my IC sessions almost always revolved around....remaining in the pain and hurt as long as I can so as to process it. Anger serves to mask pain and saddness...nice to have it lifting.
I'm tired of tip-toeing around my town.
Replace "town" with "my life" and I totally get this too.
Fear serves its purpose when a tiger is around....makes you tip toe so as not to wake it or draw attention to yourself. Problem is...seldom are tigers around. My fear of abandonment issues lied to me...they constantly make me feel as if tigers are around. Sad for that being a part of me...refreshed that I can choose to grow past that, like you and I are growing past our anger.
Fear is payment on a debt you have not yet incurred, and may never incur.
Glad to see you too are getting out of "debt"!
Peace to us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 10:07 AM, October 7th (Monday)]