SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Herkemeyer posted 10/7/2013 10:06 AM

Does the "just add water"instant magical love a wayward feels toward their betrayed just piss anyone else off? Where was all this before you decide to go over your body and mind to someone else? Why wasn't I worth the effort then? AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

fight4respect posted 10/7/2013 10:16 AM

Yes. Once that line had been crossed, the tears and declarations of love just added insult to injury as far as I was concerned, they sounded so fake and cheap to me. It was like looking at a 12 year old child. It all seemed both pathetic and arrogant.

Marathonwaseasy posted 10/7/2013 10:57 AM

I know
grrr
I love you so much
I want to help you heal
I can't imagine life without you

Like duh - bit late to say that now.
I do believe his sincerity but it's still

Jrazz posted 10/7/2013 11:03 AM

I remember that. It was so odd, and not a tad bit unbelievable.

Why, after months of ILYBINILWY was he suddenly devoted to me forever and ever?

I think that in some cases it truly is a case of fog v. stepping back into reality. They were playing pretend, and the ones that realize that come screaming back. There are others who may never come back from fantasy land, but that's on them.

Crazz has told me he loves me every day since DDay. That will be 3 years this December. I'm starting to believe him.

Razor posted 10/7/2013 11:17 AM

A darker aspect of my personality believes this sudden *magical love* is what people call *damage control*. Just another lie to get back in *good graces* with the betrayed. And once the damage is controlled. as the old saying goes.

I just said that I loved you
to set your mind at ease,
But when Im far from you
I will do as I please.

sailorgirl posted 10/7/2013 11:39 AM

I think it's an unfortunate human trait to appreciate things more when we believe we might lose them.

It's like when my H had a medical scare, or when I lose sight of my child in a crowded place. Suddenly, I get a rush of love and concern for them.

The thing with cheating spouse when they finally come out of the fog is can they sustain that appreciation? It's easy when the chemicals of potential loss and relief are flowing. But what about when life returns to "normal"?

Can the WS nurture their gratitude for their spouse and live in a way that shows it?