I hate this crap. I'm so f...ing tired of it all.
He signed off on all the paperwork, agreeing to how life insurance would be handled until sale of the home in 2015. I paid $500 an hour for my attorney while we went over EVERYTHING in detail.
Today, our life insurance was supposed to be paid. I paid mine. His wasn't paid and I got a nastygram. Called the life insurance folks. Contacted him, text only cuz I just can't deal with him on his level when it's a phone conversation.
Him: Uh, why do I have to pay the life insurance, you are the beneficiary.
Me: For the same reason I have to pay my life insurance.
Him: I don't have any money
Me: Fine. Pay me back next Thursday when you get paid.
The whole time, I'm looking at his account with $3,000 in it and another with about the same amount.
I didn't hack, he never bothered to change the passwords that I set up years ago.
I refused to argue, engage in any way, and definitely didn't remind him I still can look at his accounts.
He does this crap to push my buttons, which is exactly why I pretend like it doesn't bother me at all.
I just don't get the WHYs of it all.
I have not put up a fight about anything. When he announced he was leaving me, fine. When he announced he was getting his phone in his own name so I couldn't "spy" on his phone calls, fine...even went to Verizon to sign him off cuz it needed my signature.
When he packed his crap, didn't beg, argue, again fine.
When he wouldn't tell me his address, fine.
When he asked me to lower the spousal maintenance, checked my budge, and fine.
He wanted a divorce, we are in a covenant marriage, so he couldn't file against me. FINE, I went against all of my religious convictions and filed when he abandoned me and moved Shrek into his new lurve nest, fine.
And every chance he gets, even it it has absolutely no bearing on the financial conversation, he says, "You're just doing this because I don't love you and I don't want you anymore. You are just jealous because I'm happier without you!"
This shit HURTS. I know I'm better off without him, and one day my heart will catch up to my brain. AND I do NOT give him the satisfaction of a response when he goes there but ignore and continue with the financial whatevers. Then get off email or text as soon as I can.
NC is in effect, but for financial stuff I have to deal with him or pay my attorney $500 an hour to handle the emails, etc. If I could afford that, believe me I would NEVER speak to him again.
I gave him what he wanted without a fight, and that is filing for D.
He has his whore. I don't deal with him, like he SAYS he wants. WTF.
I'm just sooo damn tired.
I was sooo good to him in the marriage. I stood by him when he hit financial ruin from his crazy ex wife that cheated on him. I stood by him during his injuries, I stood by him when he lost his daughter. I raised his two sons as my own when their mother all but abandoned him.
He is the one that lied, cheated, disrespected me over and over in my house, and emotionally abused me.
Why why why is he still trying so hard to stick me in the back over and over when I'm not bothering him.
I'm crying my eyes out. I'm just so tired. So f...ing tired of his shit when I was sooo good to him and his kids. Why won't he just leave me the hell alone. I didn't deserve this from him. Yet he behaves like a child thst didn't get his way...like I'M the one that cheated on HIM. He has spread lies, I took the high road and didn't tell anybody ANYTHING for soooo damn long.
I cannot wait for the day when all financial ties have been taken care of and NOTHING binds us together anymore.
This sh!% HURTS.
[This message edited by StillLivin at 7:29 PM, October 7th (Monday)]