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Barb Du Jour

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erzulie posted 10/7/2013 20:48 PM

So, I am taking the advice of this panel of wise, smart, experienced and generous folk, and will lob my barbs here versus at WH via email. Hopefully at the very least, you all can find some entertainment value in them.

Here goes the first one:

WH: "I was going to ask you if we could have an open marriage."

ME: "Sure, we can have an open marriage! You have my full permission to go fuck yourself."

Take2 posted 10/7/2013 20:50 PM

Awesome. Yes definitely post them here! And don't waste that gem on the jerk!

Dreamboat posted 10/7/2013 21:11 PM

That is great!!!

nowiknow23 posted 10/7/2013 21:17 PM

erzulie - the best part of posting them here instead of with him? Is that we are a receptive and admiring crowd.

sleepless34 posted 10/7/2013 22:04 PM

BTW, I got this question too...

WH: "I was going to ask you if we could have an open marriage"

YOU: "Yah, I will open the door and throw your ass out"

SBB posted 10/8/2013 02:31 AM

Bravenewgirl posted 10/8/2013 03:54 AM

WH once proposed this to me too, but told me he was uncomfortable with me doing it, and would I consider having a one way open marriage?

AS. IF. Sheesh.

erzulie posted 10/8/2013 09:30 AM

Barb Du Jour Day 2:

WH: "I was going to ask you if we could have an open marriage."

ME: "Really? Awesome! I have a list of guys I've been wanting to screw for a long time. Let me get it out ... will you take care of the dogs Friday night? I want to get started."

k94ever posted 10/8/2013 09:33 AM

^^^^^^ snork ^^^^^^


SBB posted 10/8/2013 09:46 AM

"Dude, hold my earrings."

Nature_Girl posted 10/8/2013 09:58 AM

Hey, you're good at this!

woundedby2 posted 10/8/2013 16:34 PM

caregiver9000 posted 10/8/2013 16:57 PM

I agree, you are good at this!!

btw, I got the open marriage question too.

ajsmom posted 10/8/2013 17:16 PM

That's our erzulie!

I knew you'd be back!


erzulie posted 10/9/2013 20:47 PM

Barb Du Jour, Day 3:

WH: "I could not talk to you about my faith"

ME: "Why?"

WH: "Because you used 'Jesus Christ!' as an expletive!"

ME: "Oh, for Christ's sake, jumpin' Judas Jehovah. God DAMN that is the most inane thing I've ever heard. Jesus H. Christ."

erzulie posted 10/10/2013 14:09 PM

Barb Du Jour Day Four:

WH: "I want to renew my relationship with Jesus"

ME: "Oh, yeah? Well, good. Let's start with a "come to Jesus", then, about your behavior."

Skan posted 10/12/2013 20:47 PM

And just remember, asswipe, that it's come TO Jesus and not come WITH Jesus.

LeopoldB posted 10/12/2013 21:23 PM

me: When I said that we are all in the same boat,
I didn't think you were going to do the entire crew.

SerJR posted 10/13/2013 08:10 AM


As long as you engage, you are letting him pull your strings and allowing him to live rent free in your head.

Yes, sometimes things need to be said for that emotional release... but please don't let him drag you down into his little hell. You are so much better than that. Your anger is good... it is just... but focus it towards moving forward with your life. Let go of this insanity. You are capable of so much more...

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