"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

EasyDoesIt posted 10/7/2013 21:56 PM

So, it's been a year and a half since the divorce was final and I'm pretty damn happy. Life does have its stress factors but being married to an asshole isn't one of them for me anymore.

I'm in school full-time, operating a sole proprietorship, working part-time at the school as an assistant to one of my professors, volunteering for my chosen charities, gardening in the raised bed gardens that my best friend and her husband built for me, I have two dogs and two cats, and sometimes I leave the dishes in the sink. It's freaking AWESOME!

My son came down to visit with his dogs this past weekend and it's so nice to just be able to visit with him without worrying if LunaticPsychoExFucktardSpousalUnit is going to blow a gasket over our conversations. I talked to the youngest cherub still in school in the Midwest and he's doing great. My oldest daughter is expecting baby #2. Youngest daughter still doesn't speak to me since I filed for divorce but that's her decision. I guess that's the only heartache I have with all of this, I do miss my daughter.

I've repainted the dining room and kitchen five times because I can't decide on a color. I've only repainted the living room twice, so that's a plus. I just painted my new shed out back, it looks phenomenal.

I turn away those men stupid enough to be interested by telling them that they're the wrong sex. I'm not gay, but no sex is the right sex for me!! Male or female. They take it that I'm declaring myself to be gay and that ends it. Smooth, huh? And I didn't even have to lie or make excuses.

I have the most wonderful back yard with things blooming all the time, even in the fall, and there is something in the yard that blooms here in January. Imagine that. I love living in the South.

If I want to have Wheat Thins and hummus (and red wine) for dinner, there isn't anyone to bitch about it. If I want KFC, guess what, I go and get it. If I want fried eggs, I fry them. Listen....Listen!!! Do you hear that? It's no one bitching!!!!!

I don't think I would have felt like this if I had filed for divorce when my kids were still dependent on a "stable" home, but I'm sure glad I finally did it. I rarely even dream about him.

And, like I said, I have two cats now. He was allergic. Yay ME!!

beachbunny posted 10/7/2013 23:37 PM

Thanks for posting this...I needed to see this....

SBB posted 10/8/2013 06:33 AM

And that, my friends, is how you ROCK AN NB!!

Love it!!

Dawnie posted 10/8/2013 07:15 AM

A W E S O M E post!

FaithFool posted 10/8/2013 19:19 PM

Yah!

LifeIsBroken posted 10/8/2013 20:00 PM

Loved your post. Thank you for sharing ! I realize it's not the same for everyone coming from divorce hell, but it's a bonus to read the success stories and YOU surely are a success story ! You ROCK, Girl ! You get it that YOU make you happy. Rock ON !

persevere posted 10/8/2013 20:21 PM

Heartwarming post EDI - yay you!!! I want to make my backyard my blooming oasis this next year - and you've inspired me to keep working on it.

fraeuken posted 10/8/2013 20:59 PM

Calling the gardener to get the backyard project started next week. It needs some serious root removal, protection against weeds and new dirt. And then I will be on it!

Easy, your post energized me -single life is uncomplicated in so many ways. Rock on!

[This message edited by fraeuken at 8:59 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]

EasyDoesIt posted 10/9/2013 07:28 AM

Thank you, my SI friends.

The house that God firmly planted in my life is almost 50 years old. When I was looking, well, I didn't have a big budget so some of the houses were foreclosures and when I walked into them, it was overwhelming sad energy in the air. This house, however, had been owned by a woman who had to go into assisted living (dementia). She loved this house and yard, raised her kids, had grandkids birthday parties and holidays here, and there was just happiness when I came in. It was peaceful. Even her bright yellow walls were happy walls and they hadn't been painted in 30 years at least.

The house had been on the market for almost a year and the price had come down significantly. See, it doesn't have central air conditioning, no dishwasher, and the old 100 amp electrical. For me living alone it doesn't matter, the electricity is fine. The one window unit A/C keeps the house cool just fine because of the floor plan. I live alone so I don't need a dishwasher.

It has hard wood floors and I love, love, love those. The yard is something she spent many hours in. There are lots of shrubs and most of them bloom (I'm in The South, everything blooms). They're called "rolling blooms" because different plants bloom at different times but something is always flowering.

One of the neatest things is the massive Gardenia bushes. My ex was a master at hacking down my plants and he'd almost killed my Gardenia bushes at our other house. He tried many times by sawing them even with the dirt but they always came back. He also went on a wacko binge and hacked down all of our trees at 2:00 a.m. one night in a manic state WHILE we lived in a subdivision with an 11:00 noise curfew. Not a happy day. There were 5 Japanese Maples and he cut them to the ground.

So, there is victory in this house and more victory in the yard for me. Everything that has been taken has been restored in multiples. It has a fenced yard which I had to have for my dogs. It's also a ranch style, our last three houses had stairs and I hate stairs.

So, not sure what the moral of the story is but put your head down and keep swinging.

(I didn't do the dishes last night and no one is bitching!!)

better4me posted 10/9/2013 10:04 AM

So, not sure what the moral of the story is but put your head down and keep swinging.

Thank you Easy, this whole post made me think and the quote made me realize I need to take more action...I need to re-reclaim my NB.

NaiveAgain posted 10/9/2013 13:51 PM

Sounds awesome!

gypsybird87 posted 10/9/2013 17:04 PM

Awesome post!! You just made the light at the end of my tunnel burn a little brighter.

Thanks!

clralb posted 10/9/2013 21:08 PM

Absolutely lovely!

You painted such a beautiful, peaceful, simple life that is filled with happiness.

Gives me hope.

Edited to add: I love me some KFC too. Ex wouldn't have it. Fooey on him.

[This message edited by clralb at 9:11 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)]