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Newest Member: ChumpInMP (46060)

User Topic: seriously, email rant ahead...
PurpleRose
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 11:44 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So ridiculous.. the Dooosh is such an idiot. He files a complaint against me at my work last year about doing things I shouldn't be online while students are in my class (which was not entirely true, I was on planning/lunch when he claims I was online, and had NO impact on his life whatsoever other than to make MY life difficult..) But now he's complaining that his texts to me are going unanswered. HA! Seriously?? As if I'm going to open that can of worms? NO THANK YOU. My phone is not available to receive communication from him during school hours anymore. Period. I would like to keep my job so I can pay the bills he won't, thanks.

So today I get a crazyass email from him:

There is an issue that we need to address on our son's behalf regarding Monday drop-offs at school following my weekend possessions. Today was the second occurrence of this issue. Son and I arrive at school, your vehicle is locked and you do not respond to our texts to open the vehicle to put his stuff in.
When this happens, Son is faced with a decision. He can either carry all of his stuff into the school by himself (which is difficult and embarrassing for him) or he can leave his stuff with me. (Which means he may not see it again for a week, if you choose not to come pick it up).
In the interest of making this easier on him, a good solution would be to leave your truck unlocked on the Mondays I drop him off. If not, you can make arrangements to pick his stuff up at a later time, in the case the he chooses not to drag it all through school.

ehhh.. not so much idiot. Our decree states that HE is responsible for returning all items at the end of visitation. I won't be "making arrangements to pick son's stuff up at a later time". That is HIS responsibility. He's tried this before - once telling me I would have to drive to his work (where he works with his cow) to pick up my child support checks! HAHAHA!! As if.

So, here is my email reply. Oh yeah, and he cc'd my attorney on this little gem. moron.

First of all, why are you emailing MY attorney? You have no reason to email her. You should not be contacting my attorney. If I need to let her know about an issue, I will do so on my own, thanks.

Second, when you are texting me, I am at WORK. I cannot have my phone on once students arrive to my class. But you already know that. Since you don't arrive in a timely manner, students are already in my classroom when you are trying to get me to come unlock my car, which I am also unable to do. I cannot leave my classroom to walk out to the parking lot when you arrive after the bell because I AM WORKING.

It is amazing how difficult this whole process has been on our children - I can still remember when you said they would be just fine! They were resilient!! and would bounce back! from the divorce. What a shame- I don't think that's really what has happened, and even predicted as much two years ago when you cheated and blew up our family unit to go be with your whore. I am so sad for them and all the struggles that have been added to their lives because of the terrible choices you made. I'm so sad that they now have to see you with a person who put you in a situation where you had to sacrifice your dignity, your integrity, and your self-worth just to be with her. What a winner you both picked.

I will not be making any arrangements to pick up his things should you decide not to drop them off. In our decree it states that you are responsible for returning all items when you return him from your visitation weekend. You are obligated to return his items, I am not obligated to retrieve them from you. So glad our decree can clear these kind of things up so quickly (it helps to read the document, though)! If you need the exact wording, I'm sure your attorney can help you out there.

You have created this issue for our son - you need to figure out a way to fix it for him. Perhaps not needing to bring a suitcase full of clothing would be more helpful to him and save him the embarrassment of dragging one through the halls of school. I have been suggesting this for awhile now, but my suggestions always fall on deaf ears when it comes to communicating with you about Son, just like the 8 hours it took to let me know what he was so sick with on Friday that you decided he should stay home from school, yet took him jet-skiing at some point on Sunday. He was feeling absolutely awful today, headache, stomach ache, sneezing... he clearly didn't get the type of rest he needed being so sick.

Anyway, in order to avoid this in the future, I will no longer be sending Son with a suitcase full of clothing to visit you. You will need to fill his dresser at your house (he has a dresser there, right?) with clothing for him to wear. Problem solved! Son and I discussed this tonight and he agreed this would alleviate this entire issue. What a relief for him! No more packing a suitcase and lugging it inside to hide in my classroom. No more worrying about someone seeing him look like a transient in the hallways. Win for him!

Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I believe his relief is enormous, and this solution will definitely fix your inability to --once again-- make a good decision that makes things right for our children. No worries, I got ya covered, as usual!

Now go to hell, and leave me alone. Don't you have a slimey cow you can bother?


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3631 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
courageous
♀ 34477
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 1:18 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can I say I just LOVE your reply.! Will you be my write of all emails to lower muppet? You crack me up.

Anyway, in order to avoid this in the future, I will no longer be sending Son with a suitcase full of clothing to visit you. You will need to fill his dresser at your house (he has a dresser there, right?) with clothing for him to wear. Problem solved! Son and I discussed this tonight and he agreed this would alleviate this entire issue. What a relief for him! No more packing a suitcase and lugging it inside to hide in my classroom. No more worrying about someone seeing him look like a transient in the hallways. Win for him!

I wish there was a clapping emoticon because that's what I would bed doing right now. Awesome job! I think you put him in his place and still kept your cool.

Now go to hell, and leave me alone. Don't you have a slimey cow you can bother?

I really wish you put that in the email too.


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 669 | Registered: Jan 2012
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 1:29 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PR, Did you send that? Gently - far too many bloody ego kibbles!

Look how damn important you are making him.

Stop Petting The Damn Drama Llama.

I took out all of the ego kibbles for you:

I will no longer be sending Son with a suitcase full of clothing to visit you. You will need to provide clothing for him to wear during visitation. That way son will only need to carry the clothes he is wearing when coming from either home. I will not discuss this further. Please direct all further queries on this issue to your L.

Depending on when his next visitation is I might even suggest adding a line where you will send one last suitcase to be kept at his home to get him started. Then never get dragged into this discussion with him again.

Does your L charge you when he contacts her? If so tell her to delete his emails without reading them.

You could not make him a good father during your M, what on earth makes you think you have a shit show in hell of doing so in S/D?

All of my comms to the sad clown have as few questions as possible and zero jabs. I make him as invisible as he feels to me.

The upside is he seems to have been weaned off the ego kibble crack and is no longer goading me. Yay!

You cannot control him so stop trying. I found when I did this I was actually making things worse for my girls because he would ramp up the crazy just to yank my chain - at their expense.

It stops when you say it stops. Stop.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5738 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
sleepless34
♀ 40274
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Strong but Broken-
That is really good advice! I have heard it said before, but you said it quite eloquently.

Last week the email exchanges with me and Mr. Integrity were putting me over the edge. I feel into the trap of adding subtext and emotion too...and it did only "ramp up the crazy" as a result. This week there is no need to see him or communicate with him and I am feeling GREAT so far.

You are a good coach! Your point is noted!


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 446 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yea, probably too many words for it to make any impact on your ex, but *I* sure enjoyed it!


Another solution is for Dad to carry the suitcase in and leave it in the office possibly?......


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8252 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
PurpleRose
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh SBB... you know me better than that! Of course I did not send that delicious vent to the Dooosh. What the hell for?? So he can stomp his feet and whine some more about the injustice of facing his own consequences??

Nah, I'll put the fork in my own eye instead and save myself the trouble of letting him do the poking.

I never send my first draft anyway because it.JUST.ISN'T.WORTH.IT. I'd much rather let it out here, have a good laugh, and then send the version that has the least amount of words and be done with it. Feels really good to "imagine" him reading the vent-version though. I can see him whining to his cow about it - "PR is such a biiiiitch! She is such a narcissist! I'm such a victim, how dare she treat me this way? It's NOT my fault our kids are screwed up (stomping feet)!! Who does she think she is anyway??"

sigh. It's a wonder what I ever saw in that dooosh. He is such a broken man, clearly only looking out for his own happy, and to hell with the rest of the people who loved him.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3631 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh SBB... you know me better than that! Of course I did not send that delicious vent to the Dooosh. What the hell for?? So he can stomp his feet and whine some more about the injustice of facing his own consequences??

Phew - I thought you were falling off the wagon in spectacular fashion!! Happens to be my own preferred method of falling off the wagon...

I do think he should supply his own clothes because A) why the fuck not?; and B) it helps remove as many touchy points as possible - the less handing over/interaction the better.

Don't you love it how he has suggested the most annoying/cumbersome/interaction-laden way possible? The sad clown is constantly suggestions 'solutions' that force me to see him. Not on your Nelly, buster. Only when it is absolutely unavoidable and even then I'd like to at least consider other options.

Keep posting the funny vents here - they crack me up!

ETA @ sleepless, Thank you but ask me how I know. I had to learn the hardest possible way known to womankind. True story.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 11:36 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5738 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
PurpleRose
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am to please. :)

And in a perfect divorce world (ehh.. on Mars, maybe?) this would be ideal:

Another solution is for Dad to carry the suitcase in and leave it in the office possibly?.

However, I have an order of protection against the dooosh for assault. He is not allowed to come within 100 feet of me. AND, because I work at my son's school, well... he can't come on school property for drop offs/pick ups. In fact, he is prohibited from exiting his car!

The SRO (our on-site neighborhood police officer) is well versed in the Dooosh.. license plate, physical description, charges, etc... as well as the office staff.

I do think he should supply his own clothes because A) why the fuck not?; and B) it helps remove as many touchy points as possible - the less handing over/interaction the better.

There's also that pesky divorce decree which states that each parent is to provide food, shelter, clothing, etc.. to the children while in their care. Gee honey, I'd like to continue to accommodate your lying, cheating ass but my give a damn is busted. Maybe your cow can take you shopping for boy clothes that are appropriate seeing how she has 2 boys of her own??


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3631 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:10 AM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So if *that* wasn't your real response.....then what was? 'Cuz it seems like a communique from him that needs *something* back......


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8252 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
peridot
♀ 18334
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 12:47 AM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would make him buy your son some clothes so he doesn't have to lug around a suitcase.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4801 | Registered: Feb 2008
PurpleRose
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have not yet replied. I have time before there is another Monday drop off at school to discuss with my atty. I always make sure I have my ducks in a row before I communicate back so I only have to do it once.

My plan is to reiterate what our decree is, and the wishes of our son (to have his dad provide clothes at his house, mom provide clothes at my house). It really is the easier way to handle this in the best interest if my son, and that's my main goal!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3631 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Topic Posts: 11

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