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sullymeishadomi posted 10/8/2013 07:23 AM

I love my kids. I do.

I pride myself in not being one of those parents who take vacation without my kids (ive heard people where I live go away and leave their young kids behind). B U T....

I need to do stuff without them in tow. I have obligations I have to fullfil and I cant with them trailing me

I would like to run errands by myself sometimes. Ive been doing this while they have been at cheer/football but it doesnt look good that im not there watching them practice.

I have no friends or family here. Im going to look at a go to sitter or 2.

I guess im needing validation I am not being a bad parent because I am feeling guilty.

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 10/8/2013 07:28 AM

(((sully)))

It's really difficult to get 'ordinary' things done with kids in tow.

Some friends of mine had two kids and got pregnant for the third time. When they went for the ultrasound, they discovered they were having not one, not two, but three little girls. They are the most amazing parents, but I think the single smartest thing they do is take time to recharge themselves.

EvenKeel posted 10/8/2013 07:39 AM

It is healthy for you (and THEM) to have that individual alone time.

Please try not to get caught up in what other people at cheer/football think if you drop them off and go. They are not living your life with your list of stuff to do (which always is longer than hours in the day). I found I have been able to get lots done while my children were at practice. While other parent's were sitting outside dance class skimming magazines, I stacked an entire truck of firewood. No fun - but necessary. While others are chit-chatting....I was hiding in the car studying because I went back to college and that hour or so was priceless for me.

You may think people think it doesn't look good if you drop & go....but there is someone in your world thinking "I have no clue how she does it all....I could never handle it".

I am not sure how old your kiddos are but it does get better as they get older. I remember when mine were first old enough to stay home alone after school....instant pressure was lifted because I didn't have to break my neck trying to get to daycare before it closed, etc.

When I feel overwhelmed, I try to remember how quick time goes.

Schedule yourself that time and enjoy! Even if it is just going grocery shopping solo.

movingforward777 posted 10/8/2013 12:45 PM

((sully)) Just because you are not always on the sidelines when your kids have cheer/football doesn't mean you are a bad parent!!
You need to take some time for yourself and there is nothing wrong with doing that while they are involved in a school activity!!
I think it makes it much more special and exciting for your kids if you are sometimes there for them at their activities.....doesn't hurt to miss a few days....
Talk to your kids and explain that you have stuff to do and won't be there all the time...I'm sure they will understand....
What about all those kids whose parents work during the time those activities are going on....your kids will be happy to have you there occasionally....HUGS

sullymeishadomi posted 10/8/2013 13:34 PM

Ty for easing my guilt.

I do need a break.

I also need to do, for example, my required volunteer work (for school and sports) without doing double duty of watching them.

It is nice to run to, say, Target, by myself from time to time.

JustDone posted 10/8/2013 19:36 PM

Can your H watch them sometimes? You both work, and you both need alone time. Plus, dad's need to spend time with the kids, too.

sullymeishadomi posted 10/9/2013 10:51 AM

I work 6/7am to 5/7pm mon thru sat. He works 130-1030p sat thru thurs. The days he is not working, he is caring for someones yard.

sullymeishadomi posted 10/9/2013 10:51 AM

I work 6/7am to 5/7pm mon thru sat. He works 130-1030p sat thru thurs. The days he is not working, he is caring for someones yard.