Anyway, I rambled. Thanks for listening. So what is it? Is it common for the WS to "graze down"?
The AP apperently has no moral compass and usually are willing to settle for seconds and leftovers.
We as the BS can never understand a WS's choice. MY H AP was a younger version of me but without the class. She screwed a MM. That's a step down IMHO.
I have read somewhere it is always a down step. I just don't get it. If I was going to risk everything I think I would try and get better.
WW's POS AP does have a PhD, but it is in a field so useless he has always been relegated to teaching into and remedial classes to incoming freshmen.
At best, he can be described as 'portly' while I have kept myself in shape.
Like you, I am no Brad Pitt, nor do I want to be. But POSOM looks more like Mel Gibson's drunken mug shot but without the hair.
I remember telling WW once (long before I learned of the A) that Dr. POS must be hung like a stallion because of the way women hung on his every word and flocked to him like dogs in heat. (If I had only known my W was one of them!)
Because my WW is a PhD, I have an idea how much Mr POS PhD makes. I may not be a PhD, but I was successful enough in my field to allow my wife and I to retire at 60 with our house and land paid for, no bills other than utilities, etc. If I am guessing right, when the A was in full bloom, I was making in one year what PhD POS made in three.
So yes, I do think she grazed down and I am even somewhat bitter about it.
Her 'A' 1994(?) through 1998
D-Day 7/4/2013 Yes, I didn't find out for almost 15 years... but the pain is just as bad as if she were with him last week.
Until they do real life with that new person, and eventually they feel less validated and more invisible with each passing day.
My WH thrived on the secrecy. Without the secrecy he couldn't even keep his affair going. OW is nothing in the looks department. And she is a desperate, clingy type, very manipulative. I know those types. I dated a couple myself when I was single. And its true...they do make you feel terrific. One day though, you come out of that fog and feel like you've been fooled.
They are insecure people. Trouble is, insecurity is a near epidemic and why so many people are ripe for affairs in my opinion.
His response, "I think she is cute!"
CUTE!!! The prostitute.
But I have to admit.
She was younger. She was thinner. She was more fit. I guess she was better at - ahem - what she did, because he never paid me $40 to do it!
[This message edited by WhatsRight at 5:37 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
I really do wonder about the psychology that leads to this phenomenon.
I am significantly younger than my husband, very intelligent, successful and attractive. Yet all the women my husband has cheated on me or had inappropriate relationships with have been old, uneducated, and not particularly attractive women. Why? If he was going to cheat on me he could at least have had to dignity to make it someone that was hot!
I do not care if the OP was thiner, prettier, made more money, bald or whatever. Everyone of our WS's grazed down! They choice someone who would have an A.
That makes all of us BS's that stayed even in the shitty M's and did not cheat better!