[This message edited by roarlouder at 8:26 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)]
I'm at the same spot as you. Should I kick him out because we cant talk without me getting royally pissed, or should we try to push through.
For the immediate future Ive told him to go, but now I am worried I am just pushing him off onto the OW, who sounds a lot like this one, a yes person. Why would he want to stay with me, someone who is demanding he own up to what he's done, when he has someone else standing by ready to go along with whatever he says.
IMHO....if you have no kids & as this has been going on your whole marriage, how can you EVER trust anything he says again?
Also, if he has been seeing OW for 5 years, do you really believe it is that easy to let her go??? There has to be something involved there with feelings to stick with the same OW for 5 years!!!
And with his recent attitudes, I would bet they are still in contact or at least laying low for the time being.
But I am so sorry to say that I can't just see him ending this the 1st try & think if you stay, there will be more D-days in your future.
Also, if he has been seeing OW for 5 years, do you really believe it is that easy to let her go???
Unfortunately I can speak directly to this. No, five years is a long, long time to have an affair. The intimacies shared over that period of time are significant.
The hardest part for me was knowing that XWH told his girlfriend things about me. He spoke to her about our kids and our sweet home. Damn.
Do not rush - but think long and hard. Long term affairs are brutal in their own special way.
It would take a mighty remorseful BS to give the slimmest sliver of potential recovery.
I would recommend IC. Take the time to get to know yourself. But remember, it is his job to now meet all your expectations. Make sure you know what those expectations are.
Good luck to you.
Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live. ~ Goethe
I found sexting messages a few days ago and I almost want to leave but there was no physical contact so I am going to work it out.
with that said if you have no kids and he has been lying to you for 10 years. I would leave. Your entire relationship has been a lie.
As for as how he is acting it sounds like he wants you to get over it instantly. Well thats not going to happen. If it takes you 5 years to get over it then so be it. If he is trying to be pushy about how fast you heal then screw him.
Did he grow up with a father that cheated on his mother the entire time? Why has be been cheating since he was 13.
ETA spelling miscue
[This message edited by LAFA at 3:19 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)]
[This message edited by roarlouder at 8:27 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)]
