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BrighterFuture posted 10/8/2013 16:55 PM

It's been 7 months past dday. I was about 2 months pregnant when I found out about the cheating, and we've been apart ever since. Just wanted to give an update to you wonderful SI members.
On September 12th, I welcomed my wonderful and beautiful daughter. I've had the support of friends, some flew out of town to support me physically, emotionally and financially since I have no family in the US.
On September 25th, I celebrated my 30th birthday.
I'm still in school part time, working towards my Master's. Will resume fulltime studies in Spring of 2014.
I'm in a better place emotionally. Growing stronger everyday though I still have moments of sadness and regret.

Recap on my ex:
He apologized when he came to the hospital to see DD. He missed everything from Dr's appointments, to ultrasound to birth. He has missed it all and only saw her for a few mins the day after she was born. She was sound asleep the entire time. Maybe she wasn't too thrilled to see him. I did not believe his apology...didn't come from the heart and there have been no actions on his part to support his words.
His child support payments have increased. However, he's not paying me the amount he should. Says he is living hand to mouth and will have to look for a second job. That's his problem, not mine. I'm not the one who cheated and threw all our dreams away.

[This message edited by VeryHurtbroken at 5:03 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]

Gajit posted 10/8/2013 17:22 PM

So glad you are doing better.
Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!

Brokenheart777 posted 10/8/2013 21:52 PM

Great to hear that you've reached some level of calm. I'm just under 8 months out so I can't help but compare. You are incredibly strong to have pushed through such an ugly event with things like school and being pregnant on your shoulders. We don't know how strong we truly are, until being strong is all we have left to do.

BrighterFuture posted 10/8/2013 22:06 PM

[This message edited by VeryHurtbroken at 10:10 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]

BrighterFuture posted 10/8/2013 22:06 PM

Thanks Gajit and Brokenheart777. What doesn't kill us make us stronger. I take fault in this because I chose the wrong person who obviously didn't love me enough to spare me the pain I endured the last 7 months. I'm determined to be patient, work on my self and to pray to avoid choosing the wrong person in future.

SBB posted 10/8/2013 22:51 PM

I chose the wrong person who obviously didn't love me enough

Correction - someone who doesn't love himself enough. The sad clown loved me plenty - you should have seen all the love bombing! But it wasn't genuine not because I am not awesome (I so am) but because he does not love himself. He loathes himself, actually. The bandaid of new 'love' helps him loathe himself a little less. I was that bandaid for almost a decade. It doesn't work long term.

They don't cheat because there is something wrong with us. They cheat because there is something wrong with them.

Get the CS sorted ASAP. The longer you go without the easier it will be for him to claim you don't really need it. Read Shellybeanz recent thread - they will leave you high and dry if there is any way to do it legally.

The sad clown is incensed that he has to pay me a measly $8k per year out of his $250k income. I got the same bullshit story about how hard up he would be if he provided any more support than the CS calculator required him to (which caps at $120k).