SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

wontdefineme posted 10/8/2013 19:33 PM

There is a couple arguing in a car at the grocery store and it's not me anymore!

I thank god everyday that I am no longer that woman who is being yelled at or having to put up with some bad tempered a-hole because I am not doing what he wants.

I miss the company, but not the person. I got in my car by myself happy that someone else has to deal with a bad tempered ass and I do not!

EasyDoesIt posted 10/8/2013 19:40 PM

It rocks, doesn't it? I freaking LOVE it!!

My favorite lyric from this song is "There ain't no price on peace of mind." And that pretty much describes my Friday nights back in Georgia!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4ujS1er1r0

PhoenixRisen posted 10/8/2013 19:42 PM

I have felt that same feeling of relief a couple of times when I witnessed a husband belittling/demeaning his wife in public and her just laughing it off but there's a trace of her looking embarrassed and hurt. I know exactly how that feels: it's awful!

Ann124 posted 10/8/2013 20:12 PM

When ... You have finally come to recognize the brokenness you were living in. So much so that the broken aspects jump out at you at every turn and you are so capable and strong to not allow it in your life anymore ...

tryingagain74 posted 10/8/2013 20:19 PM

Yes! Absolutely! I also love that I can run errands without some whiny, impatient albatross around my neck, questioning my every decision. I see this in the grocery store all the time. The wife looks at an item, and the husband gives her the third degree: "Why do we need THAT? That's too expensive!" Folks, we're talking about toothpaste here, not Tiffany diamonds! Plus, if you hate grocery shopping so much, then why did you come?

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 8:19 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]

FaithFool posted 10/8/2013 20:53 PM

I saw a couple jogging just now, bickering and jogging....

My x used to give me grief for Buying The Wrong Cheese. He was apparently the Only Man on the Planet Who Was Capable of Correctness in Cheese Purchasing.

Seriously, he would take everything back to the store or make me go back.

Can't believe that was my life!

Cheesuz....

No
Thank
Yew

fraeuken posted 10/8/2013 20:56 PM

Oh boy, do I get this one. Being belittled and told how I could not do anything right was a daily occurrence. No more, I don't have to argue with anybody, don't have to listen to 'crazy' and buy, wear, cook and do what I like when I like it.

clralb posted 10/8/2013 22:14 PM

SBB posted 10/8/2013 23:15 PM

Oh man can I so relate.

Its been over a year for me and I still get giddy when we're getting ready to leave the house and there's nobody walking around in a murderous rage because we are not right on schedule.

Remember my girls were just 4 and 18m on DD - he had been rushing under 4 year olds and a mum with a newborn for most of 4 loooooong years. Idiot. And I was the idiot that was trying to rush them right along with him so as to not make him mad(der). Double idiot.

The girls and I actually honour the momentous occasion of leaving the house by doing a stark raving mad tickle chase around the house at breakneck speed right before we leave (best way ever to get kids to put shoes on fast, just sayin').

Sometimes this results in the need for a toilet break (gasp!)

Sometimes a shoe is lost (OMG... gasp!)

Sometimes we're 5 mins late (OMFG.... gasp!)

At all times none of us gives a flying fuck.

I'm sure that's what Buddha was banging on about when he talked of Nirvana.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 11:16 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]

Nature_Girl posted 10/8/2013 23:16 PM

Even when I hear a happy couple negotiating a benign moment, compromising with love, I still am glad I'm not having to do even THAT. I honestly do not want to have to consider another person's needs & wants again. Aside from my kids, of course.

woundedwidow posted 10/9/2013 09:02 AM

When...I can wear sweats around the house and not catch grief for it.

InnerLight posted 10/9/2013 09:15 AM

When I can drive without someone pointing with their finger that I should change lanes or drive faster. God that was annoying. Peaceful driving now.

msk99 posted 10/9/2013 10:00 AM

Last night....I was really, really tired after finishing a commercial painting job over the weekend and it felt so nice to make my bed with clean sheets and couple layers of blankets and just starfish in my bed, not having to worry about taking up too much of the bed, lol. It was awesome.

7yrsflushed posted 10/9/2013 10:01 AM

When I can drive without someone pointing with their finger that I should change lanes or drive faster. God that was annoying. Peaceful driving now

I was driving my Mother to a restaurant the other day. She was telling me how to drive the entire time. I haven't had to deal with that in months. I stayed calm though since she would be going home later and I could laugh at my Dad and say I don't have to deal with that anymore.

dmari posted 10/9/2013 11:13 AM

I rarely venture to NB (not officially divorced yet) but your post title caught my eye.

You know you are happy to be single when:

~ being a single/only parent is 100x easier than when stbx was in the home. He was the biggest and most difficult man-baby in the house.

~ you don't have to walk on eggshells.

~ you are not the passenger of a crazy, don't use blinkers, don't check before changing lanes, speeding through yellow lights, etc, etc driver.

jackfish posted 10/9/2013 12:29 PM

I'm only Sep right now, but single, just not in a dating way.

Anyway:
-I can cook guy food again, steak n mushrooms, chili, venison.
-I can go jogging without asking why I am going jogging
-I can stop by at the pub or a friend's after work for a couple w/o being asked if I'm an alchy now (she always could though)
-I can visit MY side of the family now (she villified them)
-no more smoke smell
-no more being taken for granted in the 100's of little things I did
-no more wife pleasing
-All of the eggshells are now picked out of my feet!!
-Not being told there's no food in the house when the cupboards, fridge, freezers are full!
-No more getting shit cuz we're outta something (she just couldn't go get it herself)
-No more supporting her 100% on projects or life changes only to see her rarely follow through (she DID follow through on her affair though, so good for her on that!).
-No more feeling the wrath when a mistake is made, even small one's
-No more talks of "if I was dead, you and the boys wouldn't care", or "I hate people"
-no more witnessing the hypocrisy, needing to be center of attention in public, her jealousy of other people, her cutting down other good people behind their backs
-no more listening to her tell me how this guy is hot or how that guy tried picking her up (at least she was being open there, I'll give her that).

Wow, writing this shit out makes me wonder just what the HELL was I doing this for all these years...oh yeah, vows, integrity, and kids!

She11ybeanz posted 10/9/2013 12:50 PM

I saw a couple jogging just now, bickering and jogging

OH HELL NOOO! Running is my ME time and I'll be damned is some jackass is gonna ruin that time for me! No way! I'm kinda glad my XWH didn't like to run when we were together...although baffled by it now that he does actually like to do it....kinda like being baffled over seeing a cat wearing sneakers.... just not something you see everyday....

Yeah.....I'm happy to be single every time my best friend vents to me about the stupid little arguments her and her husband have on a daily basis....over the dumbest smallest most meaningless bullshit ever.... and I'm glad its not me.

They got in an argument right before our zombie 5k Saturday and it ruined her whole race and her whole day..... BOO on that!

gahurts posted 10/9/2013 13:17 PM

-I can stop by at the pub or a friend's after work for a couple

Oh no. Not me.

My daughter (22 yo) keeps better tabs on me and worrries about where I am and when I am coming home way more than any wife ever did.

[This message edited by gahurts at 1:17 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)]

Housefulloflove posted 10/9/2013 16:22 PM

You know you are happy to be single when:

~ being a single/only parent is 100x easier than when stbx was in the home. He was the biggest and most difficult man-baby in the house.

This, this, THIS! Not having a man-sized toddler around the house is wonderful!

- I don't have to cook like I'm cooking for a toddler! I don't have to sneak healthy ingredients in so that the man-toddler would try the food first assuming that he doesn't like it. The "man" hates all things nutritious.

I can leave a room without being asked where I'm going and what I'm about to do when I get there!

When I make a budget I don't have to keep a large chunk free to help cover what another person will mindlessly blow.

I don't have to figure out how to word everything in a way that can't be twisted into something totally opposite of what I am saying.

I don't have to listen to the daily stories of why everyone he encountered that day is an idiot and how stupid everyone is (with the exception of himself of course!)

tryingagain74 posted 10/9/2013 16:53 PM

Oh, I have to add another one:

I don't have to hear about how hot other women are or how they have "nice racks."

WHY did I put up with that for so long? Ew, I will never be the "cool" wife again!