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strawblond30 (original poster member #6263) posted at 1:37 AM on Wednesday, October 9th, 2013
No contact I asked ex to not text or FB message me. I usually cry to him about something , we both miss each other but he is a user and only misses me doing things. We are divorced I shouldn't care about him or snoop / stalk I cry every time I do,
Divorced 2013 after several years of infidelity on both sides. Remarried July 2018 my new husband Is opposite from Ex. I can actually breath with out worrying what he is doing. Living my best life now .
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 4:09 AM on Wednesday, October 9th, 2013
Block him on FB and also from SMS. Set up an email account just for communicating with him that can be vetted by a trusted third party (a sister or your best friend) so they only tell you about the parts you NEED to respond to and leave out all of the 'hoovering' crap.
Read about Hoovering here: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=480828
Limbo is the worst. It is absolutely crazy-making. You can stay in the crazy dance or you can just stop.
Unfortunately it will never stop if you wait for him to stop - you have to be the one to do it. They will cake eat and rugsweep and gaslight us for exactly as long as we allow it.
It stops when you say it stops. Eventually you realise any contact (including snooping or letting people tell you stuff about him) brings more new hurts so you end up going NC to stop going through that hell all the time.
NC = No New Hurts. It sounds to me like you've had more than enough new hurts.
Keep reading, keep posting. We've all been where you are now. Life is so much better since I got control of myself and implemented strict NC.
[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 10:10 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 9:30 PM on Wednesday, October 9th, 2013
17 years is a long time. Give yourself all the time you need to heal and stick with NC.
Try and stay busy. It does help. Take up an old favorite hobby, or start a new one. We have some pretty awesome holidays coming up, Halloween is always great. Host a G2G...I am!
Just don't be too hard on yourself. It's going to take time, and lots of it from what I keep hearing.
Good luck!
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
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