It's hard to be hopeful about the facts you report.
Your H sounds pretty effed up. I don't know if he's a sociopath or very worried about his own sexuality or just immature or something else entirely.
Why didn't you D him 2 years ago? Why did you let him come back? Why are you accepting this treatment now?
What are you feeling - anger, grief, fear, numb?
You deserve a lot better than he's giving you. You can't change him, but you can change yourself. Have you considered IC with a goal of being good to yourself?
We all adapt to the lives we experience. Behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that work at one time can stop working, and it's hard to adapt to new conditions. In other words, I do not mean the above as criticism. I suggest IC because it's easier to change with help than without it.