I have not worked since I was pregnant with my DD (6). My WH is a loose cannon and even though I have said I'm willing to work on R I fear he'll pull the plug - and I'll have nothing. I have no job to go back to. I never had a career. I have no marketable skills (especially in this job market where tons of highly-qualified people are looking for work). My WH told me years ago that he'd take care of us when we decided to have a child, he even seemed delighted at the prospect that he'd have a stay-at-home mother and wife (all part of his fantasy that nothing's ever wrong in Doofusville).
My WH is paid very well - makes over $200k/yr (net)- but signs new contracts every 3-5 yrs with his employer so technically he's a contractor. I am afraid that he'll go in for the big D, then when it's time for him to resign another contract in a couple years, he'll decide he just doesn't want to work in that industry anymore and I'll be left with NOTHING.
I was upfront with him and told him that I expected no less roughly 20% of his income to come to me and our DD as child support if we ever went our separate ways. I don't know what he'd pull at this point as he's convinced himself (somehow!!) that he's the victim in this world of horrors of his own creation, and I'm afraid he'll fight me on what I believe (and he knows) would be fair after the hell he put me through emotionally as well as financially.
Though he made over $2.5million over the course of our marriage, it's ALL GONE. He spent it on himself and his women and impressing everyone else in the world whose opinions mattered not at all in the long run. Not only that, but we have almost a million dollars in DEBT (gentle reader, I vow I am not the narcissistic asshead who spent us into penury - I was buying clothes at Target for myself and my DD (I love Target!) while he was shopping at Gucci and Prada for himself). When I'd ask him about our money and where the hell it was all going, he'd bully and scare and intimidate me into not asking for a while, then I'd find another late notice in the mail for something (and there we were making sick amounts of money) and I'd ask him about it and get the same scary, bullying intimidation (which is exactly what a cheater does when they are afraid you're getting to close to the truth) and then I'd retreat again, ...
So much to ask here...
Can my husband quit his lucrative job just to be a shit, thereby effectively wiping me out financially? I've read that reductions in support are hard to get once they're in the decree and that it's based on what a person can POTENTIALLY make, not what they choose to make...
Considering he stole from me and OUR money for years while bullying me into not asking questions (he's a very scary angry person), is it reasonable for me to be compensated for his thievery by having the amount I am requesting in child support (being that alimony is taxed)? It would be about $50k/yr for the next 16 yrs. I believe that is more than fair considering what he stole from OUR pot while we were married, but I wonder if that's taken into account when CS is figured by the courts. Technically a percentage of the CS would be more like him compensating me for stealing from me, but I'm not sure the courts would want to put that under the umbrella of "Child Support". We have zero equity in our home (thanks to him), so it's not like we even have THAT to fall back on...
If the moneys he stole from me cannot go under CS, how would he be made to compensate me for all he stole from our pot? I think it's b.s. that taxes would be taken out of anything I receive from him - unless the net amount I receive is what I believe is fair, which would mean he'd be having to pay substantially more in order to cover the cost of the taxes, which would mean he'll be fighting it harder because it'll be more out of his designer pocket...
Am I crazy for even thinking a court would insist that he pay ME back for stealing from me and intimidating me into accepting his thievery?
At the very least, would I be able to reasonably expect $40k/yr in CS - that would be roughly 10% of his gross income - what is standard for CS for one child, if there is any such thing as "standard"? Also, I would like the CS to remain in effect until our DD is done with her bachelor's degree - in roughly 16 yrs - is that normal to ask for CS to go on that long?
I hope someone here can answer even one or two of these questions. I am scared shitless about being left with nothing but debt. I could go back to school, but that would literally take me 5 years, so I would need to be completely covered financially for no less than that amount of time. But honestly, this man STOLE from me, from my very future, and from what I was told would always be there for me - doesn't he owe me a little of what he promised me?