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To those of you who are reading but not posting

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Whattodo2012 posted 10/8/2013 21:42 PM

Although I have been going through the roller coaster ride that comes with discovering and dealing with an affair for awhile now (just had DD#2), I just made my first post a few days ago. I'm sure like many of you, I only read what other people posted & what others' responses were. I never posted a new topic or replied to anyone. In some ways it was scary for me to put myself out there....if that makes any sense. And probably in some ways I didn't know if I wanted to hear what others had to say. I just wanted to share with you all that of course it's okay to just browse & read the forums. But I will say, it has helped me to post my story/concern/questions, etc. on this supportive site. It has helped me release & stay focused at the same time. I guess all I am trying to say is don't be afraid to write your own post...no matter how rambling/stupid/insignificant, etc. you may think it is. Support like this can't be found elsewhere....not from a great counselor, family, friends....it's just different.

And thank you all who have already shown your support to me by responding to my posts!

SurelyNOT posted 10/8/2013 22:30 PM

Well said. I think you have just about said everything that I at one time or other have felt/worried about/questioned and just generally felt.

Good luck on your journey

gonnabe2016 posted 10/8/2013 23:08 PM

don't be afraid to write your own post...no matter how rambling/stupid/insignificant, etc. you may think it is.

I *second* this. Reading and garnering information from what you're reading is helpful....but there really is something different about reading the responses that are directed to you *specifically*.

Don't be afraid. The more, the merrier.

h0peless posted 10/8/2013 23:10 PM

Don't be afraid. The more, the merrier.

I'm going to have to disagree with you there! On a site like this, the less, the merrier.

That said, if you are here, I'm sorry you're here but I'm glad you've found us. We know how you feel and we're here to help.

surviving1963 posted 10/8/2013 23:21 PM

At the end of every stress filled day I come to SI and read your stories. This is the best place to come to hear what you need to hear to be validated. I appreciate so much all those who work to keep this site running. We are family. I get the courage I need to keep on keepin' on after reading other posts. I am encouraged and inspired by you all

gonnabe2016 posted 10/8/2013 23:35 PM

Oh, hOpeless.
I'm trying to be all *warm and fuzzy*......and you're being a buzz-kill. So, back at ya!

On a site like this, the less, the merrier

Technically, yes. But wouldn't DS and MH have gotten pretty tired of posting back and forth to each other for the last 10 years if no one else had joined in?

If someone is lurking here, odds are that they've already been betrayed.....SO they may as well jump into the fray. Once the initial pain, shock, and trauma wear off (and trust me, it will).....SI is a really great place to be. I've laughed. I've cried. I've made some very special IRL friendships through this site. There really is NO substitute for being able to talk to people that *get it*. Or that feeling that there are people that *have your back* when no one IRL seems to......

TheAmazingWondertwin posted 10/9/2013 15:30 PM

Reading and posting here have kept me sane. I would not be the person I am today without it.

refuz2bavictim posted 10/9/2013 15:36 PM

In some ways it was scary for me to put myself out there....if that makes any sense.

That can be scary on the best of days...even more so when you are down so low you don't know if you'll ever get up again!

What a lovely way to help others feel comfortable to post Whattodo2012!

topperoff22 posted 10/9/2013 16:08 PM

So true...great post.

jackie89 posted 10/9/2013 16:23 PM

So true - Great Post.

I've said it so many times, I wish I had found this site at the beginning of me finding out. I would of definitely posted a lot - I had tons of conflict within me, with STBXH, with me constantly contacting OW and not getting me anywhere, other than more hurt. With forcing the issue of move out - or leave OW.

But since I only found the site after 1 year of limbo, Pick me, pick me dance, and after I finally insisted on him moving out.

I find that I don't have many things to post about, other than my anguish and my broken heart of being discarded after 22 years of being the Best wife EVER

But I do read a lot, and I have learned invaluable information on how to deal with the separation, from advice given.

I also feel that the IRL people, simply don't get it. They don't say it, but mostly just feel, "get over it already". and until you have been through this. you simply can't understand what it does to your mind.

So thank You!

MJane posted 10/9/2013 18:03 PM

And like someone said in an earlier post even if you have a great close friend in life listening and supporting (and am so lucky to have someone who helped through those sleepless first days and helped me with childcare) I don't want to fill our friendship with just this and certain days the pain s all consuming and I know on SI there are people treading similar paths who, for better or worse, get it and reach out with some kind (or plain laugh out loud funny!)... I am so glad to have the support here and posting really helps

MJane posted 10/9/2013 18:03 PM

And like someone said in an earlier post even if you have a great close friend in life listening and supporting (and am so lucky to have someone who helped through those sleepless first days and helped me with childcare) I don't want to fill our friendship with just this and certain days the pain s all consuming and I know on SI there are people treading similar paths who, for better or worse, get it and reach out with some kind (or plain laugh out loud funny!)... I am so glad to have the support here and posting really helps

Whattodo2012 posted 10/9/2013 21:17 PM

It really is so very helpful. I gain strength from all of you and know no matter the "outcome," things will be okay...that all of the shit that we've gone & will go through really will make us stronger individuals. I truly believe that.

Whattodo2012 posted 10/9/2013 21:18 PM

I also feel that the IRL people, simply don't get it

What does IRL stand for? I didn't see it on the abbreviation list.

cluless posted 10/9/2013 21:23 PM

This site has been a lifesaver to me. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have anybody to talk to. My friends want to help, but I don't want their help, does that make sense?

I'm surprised nothing I've said makes any sense. Anyway, by all means post! Nobody is going to judge you and you will get some real insight. I love the healing gardens, what a wonderful site

gonnabe2016 posted 10/9/2013 21:36 PM

IRL = in real life

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