SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

BrooklynGirl posted 10/9/2013 08:11 AM

I'm having a hard time not thinking about the OM. (NC for two weeks)

Just wondering what other WS's have done or continue to do to keep themselves busy so they don't think about the OP?

By the way, I just want to say thanks to everyone here at SI. It feels so good to know that there are other people out there that understand and give support and help in a situation like this.

With the help of my therapist and SI, I know I will eventually be ok and feel better.

skipjacktuna posted 10/9/2013 08:29 AM

I don't think about the Other Person anymore because it makes me sick at this point. I don't see her as a solution now; I see her as a cause for how screwed up life got for me and my Wife. While it's at least as much my fault as the Other Person's, I have a sick feeling thinking about her. There was a time, very early on, that I may have missed her but as you continue along here, you'll realize, hopefully, that it wasn't a healthy relationship.

floridaredman posted 10/9/2013 08:32 AM

I would replace thoughts of the AP with how wonderful my wife was for giving me another chance. I would remind myself that I was being totally selfish for having an affair on my family.

I worked on hobbies. I invested more time in the family.

Thoughts of the AP will come to your mind especially now that you have just recently started NC. That you may not be able to control. You can control what you do with those thoughts and that's dismissing them and concentrating on your family.

For the record...there is never a "right time" to confess. It just has to be done.
There are tragic situations that occur that could stall you confessing, but if you're doing it because "you're not ready"

Then you are still being selfish about this and protecting you and your AP.

I know it's a struggle..I've been there. But I would not be where I am today if I did not face and fess up to what I did

[This message edited by floridaredman at 8:36 AM, October 9th (Wednesday)]