We decided to invite FIL to our DD's grandparent's day this year. He hasn't been involved in the kids' lives, but recently he helped us out paying their tuition and with getting our new car.
MrH has been asking him and he hasn't had an answer. Tomorrow is the deadline and I told MrH if he didn't answer, I need to ask one of our older family friends so DD won't be the only one without a grandparent (they also include grandfriends for kids like my DD who don't have family nearby).
So FIL answers. He's going to be dressed in full powwow regalia and said that we need to be sure to write him down as Chief FIL on the RSVP.
MrH told me to ask how to deal with it here. We're in agreement that though there is no shame in being Native American, this is not the time for full regalia. This is about DD sharing her school with her GF, not him becoming the center of attention, which he surely will in full regalia.
I talked to DD in "what if" terms (as he wants to be a surprise showing up for her) and she said she'd be embarrassed. She wants him to bring a couple items to share, but would hide her face if he dressed in his headgear. Again, she's not embarrassed of her culture. In fact I'm going to be sewing her her own regalia and she's going to be learning the dances because she wants to compete at powwows.
Interestingly enough, she ordered the people she would like to invite and it was: FIL, family friend, THEN MIL. That's a whole other issue.
I know how I told MrH he needs to handle it but he wanted suggestions from here. Any ideas?