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My Thoughts on Expectations of SI Staff

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SisterMilkshake posted 10/9/2013 17:03 PM

Earlier this week a member suggested I had different expectations of the SI staff than they did. I didn't respond because I wanted to really think about what my expectations were and not just what I felt.

I hadn't ever thought deeply about this subject. When I signed up at SI I read the mission statement and the guidelines and felt they were fair and good. My expectation was that the mission statement and guidelines would be upheld. I have spent the past few days thinking about this and these are the thoughts I have come up with. These are not meant to cause drama or controversy. It is merely my thoughts and opinions.

I personally feel, for me, it would be presumptuous of me to have expectations of volunteers who do nothing but serve me.

I thought of an analogy that might make my feelings more clear.

There was this very hungry man. In fact, he might be starving. He finds a soup kitchen. He is served a meal by volunteers at the soup kitchen. The food was good and some of it was quite delicious. However, after the meal the man decided he didn't like the way the volunteers served the meal. Instead of just appreciating the meal and leaving quietly, he decided to complain to the volunteers. He told them how they could serve him better, he told them how they could run the soup kitchen better. He also suggested that maybe they had ulterior motives in serving him food that weren't entirely altruistic. He even thought the volunteers owed him more than what they had already given. That man didn't seem very appreciative of what was freely given to him.

It isn't melodramatic of members here saying that SI saved their lives. I have read many stories here of members attempting or contemplating suicide. Many have said that SI literally saved their lives. I believe it. When I found SI I felt I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I feel SI saved my sanity.

I can never say "thank you" enough to the SI staff. I will forever be grateful for and indebted to you for maintaining this site. I am so humbled by the sacrifices that all the volunteers here make. I am humbled by all the members here who have virtually held my hand, hugged me, cried with me, understood me, supported me, advised me, and just cared about me.

Respectfully and gently, I would like to suggest to any member who says "I really appreciate all the volunteers here, but............" to really think about what your "expectations" are of people, volunteers, who sacrifice greatly to serve you.

I sincerely hope this post is taken in the spirit that it was meant, and that spirit is extreme gratitude.

Peace and Serenity to all who travel here.


eta: fixed two words

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 6:10 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)]

stilllovinghim posted 10/9/2013 17:08 PM

Where's the "like" button?

SMS, very well-written.

StillLivin posted 10/9/2013 17:14 PM

Well said, Sister! I don't think I could give all the time necessary to man this boat! They do a great job in helping. It is their boat/shop, so to speak, so their rules.
When I signed up, I read the same mission statement. Seemed fair then, seems fair now.

metamorphisis posted 10/9/2013 17:23 PM

Thank you so much.

Tred posted 10/9/2013 17:25 PM

Peace and love Sister!

What she said.

heartache101 posted 10/9/2013 17:28 PM

Well Said!!
As always!

confused615 posted 10/9/2013 17:38 PM

As always,Sister, you are spot on.

Very well said.

Deeply Scared posted 10/9/2013 17:38 PM


Thank you so much!!! That was really nice of you

5454real posted 10/9/2013 17:44 PM

Sister, that was eloquently put.

They and this site gave me hope when there was none. Literally. I was beyond despair and spiraling down. Lost 20% of my body weight in the first 3 months, I was vomiting blood at night when I would wake from the mind movies. I won't say suicidal, but I can't honestly discount it either.

Then I found SI. I lurked for months, I would want to sign up to post a question, but without fail, within a day, someone would ask the same thing. It's quite something to realize the commonality we all share.

I finally did sign up! Best club I never wanted to join. From the bottom of my mending heart, I say thank you to MH and DS and ALL the volunteers who make this site what it is. Regardless of the outcome of my R, I will try to pay it forward. I'll stick around for a while and try to help when and where I can.

Thanks SMS for the post.

ETA spelun

[This message edited by 5454real at 5:45 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)]

LosferWords posted 10/9/2013 18:01 PM

Thank you so much, SMS!

Blobette posted 10/9/2013 18:04 PM

Hear, hear! As always, Sister nails it!

sullymeishadomi posted 10/9/2013 18:05 PM

Perfect analogy.

CheaterMagnet posted 10/9/2013 18:06 PM

Screw the "Like" button! Where is the "LOVE" button????

Skan posted 10/9/2013 18:09 PM


kernel posted 10/9/2013 18:10 PM

I feel SI saved my sanity.

^^This. Not to mention $$$$ saved on more IC, $$$$ saved on more books, and who knows how much more time it would have taken to heal without SI. So much of what I needed then and still need now is here, for free. Thank you DS & MH and staff, from the bottom of my heart.

putonahappyface posted 10/9/2013 18:15 PM

Really great analogy. Sadly, there will always be those who want more out of "life" than they're willing to give. But lucky for us, there are way more appreciative, grateful givers around here!

Ditto the love button 😍😍😍


Tripletrouble posted 10/9/2013 18:17 PM

Count me in with the members that feel SI saved my sanity.
I would also point out that infidelity can be all consuming, and sometimes I have to step away from SI for an emotional "rest". But the generous SI staff are here manning this site, day after day, year after year. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

carnelian posted 10/9/2013 18:19 PM

If not for SI, I never would have had the knowledge, tools or confidence necessary to take hold of my own destiny and make things happen for myself. All of you have help me grow the balls I needed to go back to school, get my life in order, and head for a healthier future - whatever way that turns out.

Thank you all for that.

[This message edited by carnelian at 6:19 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)]

Unagie posted 10/9/2013 18:20 PM

SI saved my life....more then once. I was suicidal, when I realized the capacity of my actions and again when he did what he did. When everything else happened later on I was strong enough to not break because of SI. You guys saved my life and my sanity, I love this site, those who run it, and those who post and help support others while sharing their own pain.

numbandnauseous posted 10/9/2013 18:22 PM

Beautiful post, Sister!

I, too, would like to jump on this train and thank SI for all they do, day and night, day after day, year after year!

Thank you, MH and DS!!!!!

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