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boots5050 (original poster new member #39542) posted at 1:53 AM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013
I feel ridiculous today, waiting for almost a year after I cheated to check in on this website to see if this amount of pain I caused was real, how could I deny her my comfort and remorse for this long, giving her just enough to get by for the day, leaving her wondering if I am committed, when in fact I haven't been
I keep reading these posts about the excruciating pain that last for years, knowing in the back of my limited emotional brain that I have the power to help, what an ignorant jackass ive been
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 11:11 AM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013
And are you committed to R now? What's different? What do you plan to do to show her that it isn't the same old same old?
What will be different this time that is the real stuff, instead of the 'just enough' to string her along, as you've been doing?
(Not attacking or judging, real questions that you don't have to answer here---just for you to think about 
)
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 3:47 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013
What makes you committed now? The fact that your BS is most likely "done", or the fact you really realize just how screwed up you are?
See, alot of us go into damage control mode. We messed up the pretty little life we had and we just want things to "get back to normal". Never gonna happen.
What are you doing to prevent this from ever happening again? What are you doing to really change?
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
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