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SpiderGrl posted 10/9/2013 21:06 PM

I am waiting for a timeline. I know he has started it and I am fairly certain he has started out telling the truth because he originally told me they first met in Jan and the beginning of it starts in Oct of last year. So.... I started looking through phone records, which I was going to do before I found the timeline.

Should I just keep my mouth shut and wait to see if he is honest in the timeline? His account of the end of their communication is off by about a week. Do I keep myself from getting bogged down in this and just wait for the timeline or should I ask him? He already knows I have been going through the phone records tonight.

I can't ever know if he is for sure being honest. All I can do is pray that he is. I do think he wants us and our family. I really do. I think he is hurting because he hurt me but I have turned the furious corner and even thinking about this stuff turns me R.E.D. I don't believe anything he says, even if I "think" it is truthful.

I am a tad rambley. I am sorry.

LosferWords posted 10/9/2013 21:10 PM

My personal recommendation would be to wait and see what is included in the timeline.

Also, I'd recommend the timeline being a "working document", versus a final draft. Perhaps once he completes his initial rough draft, you can work together to iron out dates, details, etc. That's kind of how we did it.

Good luck with this.

blakesteele posted 10/9/2013 21:13 PM

I requested a timeline...never received one.

I did piece together one on my own via text records, emails, and questions to my wife.

I do like losferwords idea that this document be considered a living document. Memory of a fWS is fickle...and new facts do pop up. I have learned this is not lying....I do believe they generally forget details...even important details.

I am hopeful you will get a time line.

God be with us all.

SpiderGrl posted 10/9/2013 21:36 PM

Well, he better provide a timeline. The MC was pretty clear about him doing it because I asked. And he HAS started it. But I also found a note in the same book that asked if I wanted him to move out because I was stressed and angry. Followed by a short manifesto stating that he is a little confused about why I am so much angrier than I have been and that it didn't really matter, that he would work to make it right. I believe these to be his own ramblings. I am pretty sure I wasn't supposed to find any of it but it was hiding in plain sight and if I am anything it is straight up nosy.

It has been a really, really rough week. I even took my ring off today because I feel nothing for it. I will probably put it back on because if he takes his off again I may kill* him.

*no not really*

Lonelygirl10 posted 10/9/2013 21:51 PM

I'd wait to see what he put in his timeline. And then trust but verify. If dates are not matching up right based on what you know, ask him about it.

My wBF lied to me intentionally on the timeline. One big date for me was whether or not he saw her on Valentine's Day. He actually wrote on the timeline that he only saw me that day, not her. And then months later admitted that he did go out with her that night. So... don't automatically trust everything on the timeline. Question it after you get it if something doesn't feel right.