If I had found out the truth all at once, I truly believe I would have kicked him to the curb.
Back in Feb, D-Day #1, I believed his A was only for 8 months, and only bjs and handjobs in her car.
D-Day #2 was last month, when I found out it was at least a 7 year long affair, with him visiting her 2 to 3 times a month, doing almost everything and anything sexually in the most intimate physical ways, NOT using protection, and on the conservative side, he spent at least a total of $8500.00 on her.
Yes, if I had known all at once, I would have kicked him out.
The question I ask myself today is why didn't I kick him out after D-Day #2 (it was a series of sequential days strung together, finding out more info with Trickle Truth, culminating in finding out the length of the A), and the answer is probably because I was in total shock. We don't have children so that wasn't a factor for me.
With the Trickle Truths, I had set up appointments for IC and MC, and a session with our pastor. WH finally came clean (I think) about *everything* the night before we were to see our pastor, figuring he's go straight to hell if he lied to a priest.
WH, at my behest (it sure didn't come from him thinking of it), set up his own IC appointments. We've been going to MC and reading and talking--well, he talks and I try not to use my mean voice.
He really doesn't know how close he came to losing it all--he says he does, but it's just not "real enough" for him to feel it...and he still may lose the privilege of living with me if he doesn't pull his head out of his ass.
Every once in a while he will say something that tells me his brain was engaged in the process we're experiencing.
I guess I'm letting him live here because I have hope that he will turn himself around from waking up stupid seven years ago.