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Newest Member: asherssoul (45716)

User Topic: If I had found out the truth all at once
Hope2B
♀ 40474
Member # 40474
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I had found out the truth all at once, I truly believe I would have kicked him to the curb.

Back in Feb, D-Day #1, I believed his A was only for 8 months, and only bjs and handjobs in her car.

D-Day #2 was last month, when I found out it was at least a 7 year long affair, with him visiting her 2 to 3 times a month, doing almost everything and anything sexually in the most intimate physical ways, NOT using protection, and on the conservative side, he spent at least a total of $8500.00 on her.

Yes, if I had known all at once, I would have kicked him out.

The question I ask myself today is why didn't I kick him out after D-Day #2 (it was a series of sequential days strung together, finding out more info with Trickle Truth, culminating in finding out the length of the A), and the answer is probably because I was in total shock. We don't have children so that wasn't a factor for me.

With the Trickle Truths, I had set up appointments for IC and MC, and a session with our pastor. WH finally came clean (I think) about *everything* the night before we were to see our pastor, figuring he's go straight to hell if he lied to a priest.

WH, at my behest (it sure didn't come from him thinking of it), set up his own IC appointments. We've been going to MC and reading and talking--well, he talks and I try not to use my mean voice.

He really doesn't know how close he came to losing it all--he says he does, but it's just not "real enough" for him to feel it...and he still may lose the privilege of living with me if he doesn't pull his head out of his ass.

Every once in a while he will say something that tells me his brain was engaged in the process we're experiencing.

I guess I'm letting him live here because I have hope that he will turn himself around from waking up stupid seven years ago.



Me: early 60s
Him: 65 yrs old, LTA w/a pro$titute
Married since 1980, no children
DDay: Feb. 25, 2013
Trickle Truth Days: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)
His affair--says it was only 8 times 1x/mo, then found out it was 7 YEARS 2-3x/mo or maybe ever 4x/mo

Posts: 363 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: out west/west coast U.S.A.
Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I probably would have done the same. I've only touched the tip of the iceberg so if I saw the words to each other, if I knew what, when, how they carried on, I don't think I could have stayed. Because I don't know the whole story, it allows a possibility that its not true even though I know it is if you Kwim?


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5238 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
sad34
♀ 40358
Member # 40358
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If he is truly repenttive and doing everything I would keep working it out.
If I had found out about my wh LTA all at once I would have been happy, then I could have almost began trusting him again. But the TT BS kills me.
Hugs and good luck


Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R

Posts: 140 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
cantgetup
♀ 36146
Member # 36146
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The thing is true remorse is something that is very visual and there is no mistaking what it is. With true remorse you don't have to question yourself whether your feeling it or not. If there is doubt on your part, the remorse is not there. My opinion is it's pretty black and white and no gray.

Posts: 319 | Registered: Jul 2012
doubleboggy
♂ 40622
Member # 40622
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Every once in a while he will say something that tells me his brain was engaged in the process we're experiencing

Yes, I see the light bulb flicker sometime too. Just wish it would stay on a little longer.


D Day: 3/31/13

Posts: 108 | Registered: Sep 2013
Hope2B
♀ 40474
Member # 40474
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I see the light bulb flicker sometime too. Just wish it would stay on a little longer.
I like this quote!


Me: early 60s
Him: 65 yrs old, LTA w/a pro$titute
Married since 1980, no children
DDay: Feb. 25, 2013
Trickle Truth Days: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)
His affair--says it was only 8 times 1x/mo, then found out it was 7 YEARS 2-3x/mo or maybe ever 4x/mo

Posts: 363 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: out west/west coast U.S.A.
Topic Posts: 6

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