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Stood Up For Myself

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20Hopeful16 posted 10/10/2013 07:47 AM

I managed to stand up for myself with WH today in a calm, and I hope, appropriate manner. Last night he said he wasn't going to be able to take DS#1 to practice tonight. I just sort of nodded and agreed because I thought he was going to be attending calling hours for an employee of his who passed away.

This morning I read in the paper that calling hours were tomorrow morning, not this evening. I was furious!!! What the heck else was more important than this commitment he had to his son?

So I called him this morning after I dropped the kids off. I didn't rant and rave, I didn't yell. I just calmly asked what his plans were for this evening that were keeping him from doing what he was supposed to for his child. He immediately said he had been planning to go out but he would change his plans and do the practice. I told him I thought that was fair, and let it go.

I was pretty proud of myself. I could have let it go and taken DS myself or figured out arrangements for him fuming the entire time because I was so pissed, but it was something that is WH's responsibility, and its not fair to me to have to deal with it. And its not fair to DS.

I am proud that I handled it calmly and rationally. And, I am especially proud that I did NOT apologize. During the conversation I caught myself about to say I was sorry for messing up his plans, how stupid is that? But I didn't.

SisterMilkshake posted 10/10/2013 07:57 AM

That is great, 20Hopeful16. I was very much like that, too, always being "ok" with my FWH having "plans" and not being able to take care of his obligations to the family.

I am so happy you were able to stand up for yourself and your family in a calm and respectful way, and then the real biggie, not apologizing for it. YAY!

heartache101 posted 10/10/2013 08:04 AM

Excuse me your DDAY is 8/13 this year and he thought it appropriate to schedule an outing to go out for WHAT? i am sorry.

20Hopeful16 posted 10/10/2013 08:08 AM

Excuse me your DDAY is 8/13 this year and he thought it appropriate to schedule an outing to go out for WHAT? i am sorry.

Oh, he's a self admitted selfish asshole who is currently living with the OW. He's well into mid-life crisis mode.

Dallas2 posted 10/10/2013 08:14 AM

YAY

Glad you stood up for yourself and your DS. I would say for what he is doing you are handling it extremely well.

Be proud of yourself!!!

StillStanding1 posted 10/10/2013 08:50 AM

Good for you!!!! I am inspired by strong BS's. You go girl!

doubleboggy posted 10/10/2013 09:20 AM

Glad you stood up for yourself...keep it up!

Excuse me your DDAY is 8/13 this year and he thought it appropriate to schedule an outing to go out for WHAT? i am sorry.

THIS...is the bigger issue.

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