This Topic is Archived
lostandconfused7 (original poster new member #40939) posted at 1:59 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013
I'm new here and rarely post in any forum. I really need some advice. Here's our story. We were married for 8 years together 9. He cheated 3 times and we have been divorced for 6 months. 3 months ago his mom got sick and when he needed support he realized that his AP wasn't interested in being there for him. He then realized that I was the only person that he could count on. He started coming around again and we started doing things as a family. We have had several serious talks and he answers all my questions and supports me however I need to. We have agreed that we want to reconcile but we can't move forward until he has severed all ties from the AP. He has property stored at her house that needs to be moved and he had had some commitments that he wanted to complete. Well the commitments are very near completed but he doesn't seem to be in a hurry to move his things. He is still in contact with her but mostly business talk or them trading degrading messages. I feel that he should get all of his things moved ASAP and stop all communication with her. He says that he plans to but he just seems to be dragging his feet. So my question is should I tell him that we can't have any more contact until he is completely free of her or should I just try to be supportive and encourage him to get it done. It is very painful for me to deal with him having any contact with her even though he is very honest and tells me every time. We do have a counselling appointment next week maybe that will help. I was just hoping that someone on here could give me some guidance and encouragement.
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 2:04 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013
He's dragging his feet because he's turned you into the OW now and doesn't want to change things. He's doing the same thing he did while you were married. All he's done is change the position of the players in the game.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
kiki1 ( member #37184) posted at 2:40 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013
Pull back Lost.
I was in the same situation myself. Thought he was serious about attempting to repair things and he was still bonking ow #2.
No contact with you until ALL contact of any type is severed with the ow. ALL. Or you will only hurt again.
hugs,,
This Topic is Archived
