My last dday was January 2012, 20 months ago.
I still have days like that. Usually something triggers me to think of the past.
Times I can let it go but other times it lingers for a few days.
I went back to work and find it to be an amazing help to me. I never think of anything but work. It has been my savior.
Yesterday driving to work a song came on the radio that reminded me of those dark times, I turned it off but had sad feelings until I got to work. Work was fine but as soon as I got in the car the feelings came back.
Last night fwh asked how my day was. He has been completely remorseful for close to 3 years since the first dday. Understanding, helpful and caring. Going to his IC and working really hard on himself. His communication skill have changed 100%.
Well last night when I told him about the song and such he said...i am so sorry, what can I do to help you?
I said you can answer some questions I have about that time.
His response was. I don't want to go back there. It does us harm, I am trying really hard to to to focus on now and our future. It will cause you more pain.
I thought about it and got angry, didn't say anything but I thought....what gives you the right to tell me what is good for me. And he has no idea what I feel when these triggers happen, because he has never had to deal with a cheating wife.
I am actually happy I have a long day at work today!!