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Just Found Out :
Do you think this is Shady?

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 jzkc1502 (original poster member #40496) posted at 4:10 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

I've posted on here before about my story but a quick recap, 3 years ago I found out my husband had been calling/texting escorts from craigslist for about 6 months...during this 6 months we were married and he also did this on our honeymoon. I'm still struggling to get over this and figure out if I can truly trust him again.

So the story I have right now is we only have one car and I almost never drive since I work from home. This car is like my husbands pride and joy and always cleaning it and keeping it spotless. I took the car two nights ago and opened the center console to put the garage key back and I see a large blue pill. From the code imprint on it I found that it is a Lorcet, like a Vicodin. Since his dad had just had a stroke I called his mom to ask if she'd given my husband a pill for pain or something, or if his dad is even on those pills (just trying to find a logical explanation of why this pill would be in our spotless car). Of course, no such pills are at her house.

So last night I confront my husband asking where it came from. He said he had no idea and started making jokes about it. Then said maybe it was from his mom or dad when they took the car. Then said maybe from someone at the car cleaners it fell in there when cleaning it.

What would you think??? Am I crazy for thinking something is shady? Its so hard to trust being that when I had my first DDay he looked me in the eyes time and time again lying about everything until I could discover more proof to prove him wrong.

Do you think he's lying about the pill???

Me: BS 30
Him: WH 30
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorced 9/11/14

posts: 139   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2013   ·   location: NJ
id 6518344
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kiki1 ( member #37184) posted at 4:17 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

yes, jzkc, i think it is a lie.

Pills dont just fall into center consoles.

Mom and dad dont have them.

I'm sorry. jmho.

hugs,,,,,

posts: 1246   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2012   ·   location: new york
id 6518349
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lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 4:18 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

My first thought is he thought the pill was Viagra, since it's a blue pill and was hiding it in the car.

No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.

posts: 22643   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2007   ·   location: Houston
id 6518351
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Tred ( member #34086) posted at 4:21 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

Doubt it got into his car by accident - it's a controlled substance. You need a prescription to get it for pain treatment.

Married: 27 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

posts: 5890   ·   registered: Dec. 2nd, 2011
id 6518356
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jemimapd ( member #37895) posted at 4:24 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

You are not crazy. You feel crazy because you are being lied to. It got to the stage with me when I could not distinguish fact from fiction and trusted no one.

It's his blue pill and he sounds like a full-on addict. He's lying to protect his addictions. The best thing you can do is to focus on yourself. You absolutely cannot control him and you will go insane trying to. I speak as someone married to a sober alcoholic whose affairs were just a substitute addiction.

The first step is to be truthful with yourself. It might help to ask yourself the following questions:

Has he been 100% truthful about the past?

Does he have a history of addiction?

Do you have financial issues?

Are there issues about where he spends his time?

Is he fully transparent about his online activities, passwords etc?

Has he has individual counselling?

This man is looking out for himself. Please get tested for STD's and get a support network of people that you can lean on.

((((jzkc1502))))

Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

posts: 726   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6518361
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 jzkc1502 (original poster member #40496) posted at 4:26 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

hah, def not Viagra. 100% that it is Lorcet.

Thats what I told him, its not like I'm asking when an Advil came from, I'm asking where something equivalent to Vicodin came from! The car is spotless and this pill is huge there was no overlooking it.

And you're right, pills dont just fall out of the sky. And lets say (and I don't believe this for a second) it did happen to flop out of someones pocket then it would be on the floor or under a seat or something, not hidden in the console.

Me: BS 30
Him: WH 30
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorced 9/11/14

posts: 139   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2013   ·   location: NJ
id 6518364
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 4:41 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

does he have or had a Rx for this at any time in the past?

He is lying to you, yes this is shady. This is a controlled substance, it's not a medication that is routinely ordered, or a person would be on for any length of time, unless they have some chronic pain issue.

The real questions I have where are the rest of them? Where did he get it? If he doesn't have a valid Rx for it, and is buying it off the street, he will be spending a fair amount of money on them.

If he is doing everything he should be to save your M, then he will have no problem doing a home drug test. Pick one up, and tell him, I need you to give me some pee, and I am going to watch you do it. I am sorry but your behavior in the past made me not trust you, and your story makes no sense so I need to this for my sanity. If he balks, you have your answer, he lied, and NO LIES are acceptable.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6518378
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 jzkc1502 (original poster member #40496) posted at 4:49 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

No, he has never had an Rx for this ever neither have I and from my post neither do his parents.

Me: BS 30
Him: WH 30
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorced 9/11/14

posts: 139   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2013   ·   location: NJ
id 6518392
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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 4:56 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

He is lying.

No..it's not Viagra...but I know from experience that it can cause a man to keep his erection longer than usual. WH has back pain,and on occasion(very rarely) he will take a Vicodin. They cause a noticeable difference in how long his erection lasts..he can literally last for a few hours, if he wants too. It makes it hard for him to ejaculate. So it's possible that is the reason for this pill. Or he got it from a craigslist slut. Either way,he is lying,it should not be there,he knows exactly why it's there and he is lying.

Get a VAR(voice activated recorder) and velcro it under the driver's seat in his car. You will find out quickly what he's doing.

It's important that you not say anything more to him about your suspicions. If he knows you are onto him,he will get sneakier.

BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10



..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


posts: 15220   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2011
id 6518398
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demos ( member #35660) posted at 5:10 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

I don't know if it's his or not but I disagree on the addict diagnosis that some have said. Addicts rarely lose their drugs unless they are so stoned they cant remember. If you found his stash of pills .... that says addict. But finding a lost pill .... doesn't scream addict to me. Just my 2 cents

posts: 315   ·   registered: May. 25th, 2012
id 6518422
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 jzkc1502 (original poster member #40496) posted at 5:16 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

I'm so frustrated because I know I'm getting lied to, but I want to know WHY. Is it a one time thing? Is it a problem thats been going on? Why was he taking it?

I'm terrified that there is that teeny tiny chance that he really doesn't know how it got there and I'm wrong about accusing him, but in the pit of my stomach I know that thats absurd.

I don't want to wait around and play detective, I did that 3 years ago uncovering his cheating and its godawful. I can't be with someone who will deceive and lie and cover up like this.

Me: BS 30
Him: WH 30
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorced 9/11/14

posts: 139   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2013   ·   location: NJ
id 6518428
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SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 7:00 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

There's an additional problem with having controlled substances in the car- at least in Florida, where I live. If you are stopped by police and they search your car and find it, without a valid script to you, you are in trouble.

That's risky behavior- something that I would have serious problems with if it were my WH. Slippery slope.

And it does sound like he is lying. People just don't loose that sort of pill in an otherwise immaculate car.

Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

posts: 1292   ·   registered: Sep. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Sunny Florida
id 6518591
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 jzkc1502 (original poster member #40496) posted at 7:53 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

I hate being made to feel like I'm crazy....like I should just have the attitude of "oh well, I guess it just appeared!" Maybe if he didn't have a history of lying and cheating I may take his excuse, but not now.

Me: BS 30
Him: WH 30
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorced 9/11/14

posts: 139   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2013   ·   location: NJ
id 6518679
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 8:18 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013

Soverysad has a very valid point, I know Lortab, Norco, Hydromophone, Hydrocodone are a HUGE problem in FL, and they have really cracked down on it, but I think other states have as well.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6518708
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