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Yesterday was a successful day plus a vent

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shatteredheart7 posted 10/10/2013 13:19 PM

So I have been dreading yesterday for a few days. My FWH's best friends uncle died, his funeral was yesterday. His BF's sister looks a lot like the cumdumpster, minus the steel gray hair and no teeth. She of course was going to be there. They grew up together, as my FWH has been a part of their family since 1st grade, he feels like she is a sister to him. So I knew there would be no way of avoiding her, plus she is very nice and she and I have always gotten along, its not her fault she looks like the cumdumpster.
On top of that, my MIL, FIL and BIL were going to be there. They are still acting like I am dirt beneath their feet, which still hurts even though I try not to let it bother me.

I am proud to say that I made it through the day with no tears. My FWH stayed by my side holding my hand, rubbing my back ect. the entire time. AND, my In laws friends and church family got to see the way they treat me.

Now for the vent!

I still think it is very sad that my husbands BF family treats me better than my in laws do. But this whole funeral thing leaves me wondering something. My In Laws are in their early 70's. My MIL is not in the best of health. How am I going to deal with her funeral. I will want to be there for my husband, but his family will ALL treat me like dirt because of the way his parents feel about me. I know I will not be welcome.

WHY am I the one that has to always eat the shit sandwich? I didn't cheat! I am the one that was there for him, trying to get him to get help when he was going through the depression. His parents didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with him but me making him miserable. He has tried talking to them about it, he stands up to them for me, but nothing he says or does makes a difference. If I hear from their friends one more time, "one day they will forgive you" I am going to SNAP! Forgive me for what exactly? Letting their son stomp on my heart for over 2 yrs? Being there? Loving their son? Giving him a second chance?
If I ever treat my SIL or DIL like they are treating me I really hope someone calls me out on it! However, I would hope that I have raised my kids to know right from wrong and to have healthy boundaries so that they never hurt their spouses the way I have been hurt!

MovingUpward posted 10/10/2013 14:37 PM

You are right that is shouldn't be true that your IL's treat you worse than non-family. Unfortunately you can't control the extent of how narrow minded they want to be. On the upside you don't have to deal with this today. However if you did then this leaves you with two options. 1) Don't attend the IL's funeral or 2) be there for your H. You can't make everyone like you but you can always choose to act in a way that they look like idiot's for not liking you. You might want to start discussing this with your FWH to get a plan in place now before it happens and all get emotional.

shatteredheart7 posted 10/10/2013 18:16 PM

Thank you! I will do just that, even though I already know he will want me there when it does happen. It won't hurt to already have a plan in place.

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