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Newest Member: BrnEyes777 (45750)

User Topic: Feeling like a chump (profanity)
sunsetslost
♂ 39885
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel like a fucking chump right now. Why the fuck am I bending over backwards to give this bitch a house with 30,000 in equity in it. Every time I turn around its "can you check on this? How do I do this??" I am making alls, faxing, running around town looking for bank records I keep telling myself it's a means to an end but it's wearing on me right now. Truth is I'm going to drop a 100+ year old house on her that will likely ruin her financially. And I don't care. Fuck her and that shitty house.

I needed to get that out. Tentative closing November 4. Then the gloves come off.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 780 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
StillLivin
♀ 40229
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there. Do what you gotta do and don't feel like a chump. The true chump is gonna be her.
It will get better and you will be financially free.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2501 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A chump is someone still taking care of that fucking house AFTER it's all in her name. A smart guy is someone dumping an big old house on their WW who has no clue what it takes to keep in good shape. And probably doesn't understand property taxes either.


"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3157 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
GabyBaby
♀ 26928
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with Cayc on this one!
Keep you chin up, especially with an end date in sight.

After the house is all hers, you're going to suddenly become unavailable to those demands.


Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6689 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
jemimapd
♀ 37895
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was in a similar non-infidelity related situation a while ago.

It really helped me to visualize the outcome. Imagine what you will do on the weekend after the closing. Something positive for you. A night out. A purchase for yourself. A trip somewhere. Something you have wanted to do for a while. Offer that to yourself as an incentive.

Somehow it helped me rise above the frustration of getting there.

[This message edited by jemimapd at 6:25 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
ladies_first
♀ 24643
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why the fuck am I bending over backwards to give this bitch a house with 30,000 in equity in it.

"36. Debt free. Cash in my pocket. Condo on the bay."


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
sunsetslost
♂ 39885
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She really is clueless. My favorite question : "What is my adjusted gross income?" The small and ever shrinking part does feel ok knowing she will be happy in her house. And when the shit hits the fan I won't care a bit anymore.

Thank you all. ladies_first, thank you for the reminder.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 780 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 3:49 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ladies_first nailed it. You're not helping her, you're making good your escape.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5660 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Ashland13
♀ 38378
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One thing that's always helped me is to remember when I'm sitting alone every night and contemplating how I handled things, I strive to take the high road because I can live with peace in my mind knowing that I did.

When all is said and done, that will be my peace and some of my freedom. That I didn't do anything wrong, I stayed the course even if it means answering every question and more legal bills.

It's the rest of our lives to live and how we deal with things now plays a big part in that future.

And...think of her having zero, zilch, nadda, to hold against you, Sunsets.

When you next float along on that noodle, you can be conscience-free and your looking back time, if you do it, can be done with ease instead of worry and "what will she come up with next?"

Not leaving any ducks out of order can only ensure a peaceful ends to a very choppy surf.


Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2366 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
sunsetslost
♂ 39885
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ash,

You read my mind. I'm being civil, beyond civil for me. So I can hold my head high. So I can sleep at night. So that, in the future when I'm on a date on the beach and the inevidable questions come up I can say honestly that I was honorable, fair and walked away with a clear conscience.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 780 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
Housefulloflove
♀ 38458
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A chump is someone still taking care of that fucking house AFTER it's all in her name. A smart guy is someone dumping an big old house on their WW who has no clue what it takes to keep in good shape. And probably doesn't understand property taxes either.

This. It's not a chump move it's a strategic move. Big difference. One puts her at an advantage at your expense the other creates the exact opposite effect. Think about the long term benefits while enjoying imagining how deep in shit she'll be before she even knows what is going on. It helps!


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
peridot
♀ 18334
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just remember you are almost there.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4801 | Registered: Feb 2008
Topic Posts: 12

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