"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

deadroses posted 10/10/2013 21:11 PM

Hello. This is my first post. My dumb husband told me he was having an EA with a friend of mine. ......just kissing he said. Three days later I found out was a full blown PA and she was in love. Ok. ... fast forward to today. He has been very remorseful and says this is the worst thing that he has ever done. The horrible thing is that he was carrying on with a friend of mine at the same time my best friend of thirty years was dying. .. she died on the 3rd of September. ...he confessed on the 8th and TT till the 11 th. ....I'm so very angry that he could do this at all let alone when I was going thru some terrible trauma. She is single so I perceive her as a bigger threat. ...she had nothing to lose right? They have had no contact since the 15th..... but I'm still so angry... .I just want to puke. I had this woman over at thanksgiving and she was at my 50th surprise birthday party. ..what a slut she is. ..I always kind of thought she was creepy. I guess I was right. ...sigh

Gajit posted 10/10/2013 21:36 PM

I am getting from your post that she DIED???

Tearsoflove posted 10/10/2013 21:40 PM

Gajit,

Her best friend died, not the woman her husband had the affair with. He slept with another friend while her friend was dying.

Deadroses,

So sorry that you've had to go through a major loss along with this betrayal. Read in the healing library. I hope he has gone NC with her but if he has not, you need to insist on it.

deadroses posted 10/10/2013 21:51 PM

I wish she died. ...jk. I guess she is just another fucked up human being with no regard to anyone but herself. Every time I saw that bitch she told me how amazing I was. ..what a joke. Except I'm not laughing.

Lyonesse posted 10/10/2013 22:02 PM

she told me how amazing I was

I'm sure she was right about that...just doesn't mean much coming from her.

How profoundly disrespectful of your H to have her around you, and at such special occassions too.

You are very welcome here. Have you read in the Healing Library at right? What actions is your H doing now to regain trust? Is he seeing a counselor? Reading books to understand infidelity? Getting tested for STDs?

I am so, so sorry for your multiple traumas. Your anger is justified! How about you - do you have support now? Have you considered talking with an IC? You have multiple hurts to process - losing your friend and discovering this betrayal. Please take good care of yourself.

[This message edited by Lyonesse at 10:03 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]