Whether a one-night stand, an emotional affair, or a long-term affair, a betrayal is a cataclysmic event. Everything you are feeling is normal. It will probably take longer than you would like to hear right now for you to process these feelings - the two year mark that is so often quoted here is pretty accurate, from my experience.
We have all been there. Please feel free to post what you are feeling - there is always someone who will understand.
ETA: It may help you and your H to read one or two books about infidelity together, and discuss them. Not Just Friends and How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair are the two most recommended here. I found both helpful in the early days. Don't feel you have to hurry up and forgive him because the A was "only" a ONS - you still are going to go through the shock, anger, acceptance and your WS should be prepared for that. It will help you, too, I think to know at each stage that what you are feeling is normal and needs to be processed. Another book I liked was How Can I Forgive You (J. Spring) which cautions against rushing to "cheap" forgiveness before your H has really earned your trust again.
As for words of hope, I can promise you it does get better. It truly does. And this is a great place to be while you are getting there.
[This message edited by Lyonesse at 9:50 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]