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Newest Member: 4ever2gether (45763)

User Topic: Overreacting?
Crushed66
♀ 40005
Member # 40005
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay FWH said how was I ever going to trust him unless I give him opportunities (he is basically on house arrest) to gain my trust back. So he had a meeting after work (usually not allowed to go) and wanted to go meet some of his guy friends to watch a game. I asked when he would be home and he said between 9 and 9:30. I said okay...and he showed up at 9:45 stinking drunk. I am sooo mad! No, I don't think he was cheating on me, but why can't he keep a simple promise!!!


BW-Me 34 yrs old
FWH - Him 36 yrs old
2 kids - 1 and 5 years old
Married for 7 years, together for 8 1/2

Posts: 6 | Registered: Jul 2013
SpiderGrl
♀ 40157
Member # 40157
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope. No overreaction there if you gave him your boundaries and he crossed them.


Me 36- BW
Him 37- WH 6 month EA pushing PA.
DDAY- 7/2/13
Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. -Gandhi
Pls forgive weird sentences and spelling mistakes, I post from my phone and autocorrect hates me.

Posts: 101 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: US
emotionalgirl
♀ 40184
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crushed...you are not over reacting! I just posted on a thread on general about our WH being Mr. Unreliable. I am sorry to hear it sounds like that is who you are married to as well. Stick to your guns and re-state your boundaries. Write them out and have him sign them if you need to. This SI what I did! He has no " deniability" if he screws up because he signed that he knew and understood my boundaries! Good luck.


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 373 | Registered: Aug 2013
Lonelygirl10
♀ 39850
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not overreacting.

Something similar happened with me in the past. My wBF and I both went out separately with friends for a night, and we agreed to meet at my place at 11 PM to stay the night together. I got home at 11 PM, and he hadn't left his friends' house yet (an hour drive). I was pissed.

Everything that happens now matters. He asked for a chance to prove himself to you. He failed that opportunity. He should have showed up earlier than what he told you. I don't think you're overreacting.


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jul 2013
Morhurt
♀ 40166
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would be livid, particularly about the drunk part. I get upset when H is a few minutes later home from work than I expect. Trust is a gift but it has to be earned.
I'm sorry. :(


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 960 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
RidingHealingRd
♀ 33867
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When he sobers up be sure to tell him:

That is NO way to build trust.


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 4 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Nov 2011
alphakitte
♀ 33438
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why can't he honor a promise? Because it isn't a priority, for him.


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 350 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
Topic Posts: 7

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