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Crushed66 (original poster new member #40005) posted at 3:51 AM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Okay FWH said how was I ever going to trust him unless I give him opportunities (he is basically on house arrest) to gain my trust back. So he had a meeting after work (usually not allowed to go) and wanted to go meet some of his guy friends to watch a game. I asked when he would be home and he said between 9 and 9:30. I said okay...and he showed up at 9:45 stinking drunk. I am sooo mad! No, I don't think he was cheating on me, but why can't he keep a simple promise!!!
BW-Me 34 yrs old
FWH - Him 36 yrs old
2 kids - 1 and 5 years old
Married for 7 years, together for 8 1/2
SpiderGrl ( member #40157) posted at 3:54 AM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Nope. No overreaction there if you gave him your boundaries and he crossed them.
Me 36- BW
Him 37- WH 6 month EA pushing PA.
DDAY- 7/2/13
Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. -Gandhi
Pls forgive weird sentences and spelling mistakes, I post from my phone and autocorrect hates me.
emotionalgirl ( member #40184) posted at 4:14 AM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Crushed...you are not over reacting! I just posted on a thread on general about our WH being Mr. Unreliable. I am sorry to hear it sounds like that is who you are married to as well. Stick to your guns and re-state your boundaries. Write them out and have him sign them if you need to. This SI what I did! He has no " deniability" if he screws up because he signed that he knew and understood my boundaries! Good luck.
1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R
Lonelygirl10 ( member #39850) posted at 4:18 AM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Not overreacting.
Something similar happened with me in the past. My wBF and I both went out separately with friends for a night, and we agreed to meet at my place at 11 PM to stay the night together. I got home at 11 PM, and he hadn't left his friends' house yet (an hour drive). I was pissed.
Everything that happens now matters. He asked for a chance to prove himself to you. He failed that opportunity. He should have showed up earlier than what he told you. I don't think you're overreacting.
Morhurt ( member #40166) posted at 4:38 AM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
I would be livid, particularly about the drunk part. I get upset when H is a few minutes later home from work than I expect. Trust is a gift but it has to be earned.
I'm sorry. :(
Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.
RidingHealingRd ( member #33867) posted at 4:55 AM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
When he sobers up be sure to tell him:
That is NO way to build trust.
ME: 60 BS
HIM: 67 WH
Married: 35 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 10 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
alphakitte ( member #33438) posted at 1:36 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Why can't he honor a promise? Because it isn't a priority, for him.
------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt
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