So this is the first time I am seriously considering proposing a separation. A little information on my story:
4 months after we got married I was paying his cell phone bill and Googled a phone number. It turned out to be an escorts number from CL and backpage.com. After canvassing through months of phone bills, from about 1 month before marriage (March 2010) through August 2010 I found HUNDREDS of these different phone numbers he had called hundreds of times, texted into the hundreds of times, and picture messaged several times (both sending and receiving). Some numbers were called only once, and didn't look like the call lasted more than a minute, which may have been voicemail????...and then some were several minutes long. Some numbers he texted more than 60 times in a row. I also found that while on our honeymoon when he was "being sweet" and booked me a massage, he was calling escorts there. Also, one day during the honeymoon he needed to "go back to the hotel and check his phone" and I find out he had actually gone to a strip club nearby. The worst part that I can't get out of my head is one weekend I was away, I came back to find a used condom on the bedroom floor under some clothes. When confronted he said he used it to j-off into. I've never been able to fully believe that. I was never able to 100% prove he ever actually met an escort or got physical with one.
We went to 3 counseling sessions which I didn't feel were productive at all, he didn't want to talk about the issues, and really alluded that the reason he was doing what he did was because I was sexual enough with him.
Skip to now, while for the past 3 years he has been a loving husband and has not given me any more reason to think something else is going on until the other day. Our car is his baby, its spotless and he's constantly cleaning it. I took the car (we live in a city so I drive maybe once a month) and had to run some errands. When I opened the center console to put pack the garage pass I see 3 items in the console. 1. A pack of gum, 2. a phone charger, and 3. a large blue pill. The pill is huge and very obvious and out in the open. I Google and find out it is a Lorcet, similar to Vicodin. My husband claims he doesn't know where its from or how it got there. A lie right???? In a car he's always cleaning how would he not see it or know how it got into the console? No one has taken our car.
I can't help but think there is more to this story, and based on his past of what appears to be a sex addiction and constant lying I just cannot believe him that this is a mystery pill where he doesn't know where it came from.
I want to separate but not sure how to go about it. I need time and space to process all this and decide if I can move on w/ someone I cannot trust. Whats hard for me is knowing I'm going to cause him so much pain when I say I want to separate....but he's the one who caused me to feel like this in the first place!
God I'm so confused. Any advice is much appreciated.