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Newest Member: bashfuldame (61460)

User Topic: Deciphering the signs
♂ 40844
Member # 40844
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My bGF told me she needs time and space. We are DDay +26. At first we spoke about the issue at hand all the time and said things about working it out and it will be tough and all that. She then told me she needed time and space, which I have respected. But she's also texting me, reaching out to me. Telling me about the triumphs and successes of her day. And of course I love it. But then when we speak on the phone, which is about once a week, she's very cold. I'll tell her I miss her and she says, "Yeah?" And won't reciprocate feelings. What is going on? Do I need to cut all ties for a while and let her figure it out? Or do I need to stay in the picture and remind her I am here and that I still love her with all that I have?

Help please, this has been 4 weeks of hell.

Posts: 15 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Tennessee
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Have you read about the 180? I've attached the link to it. I think it would be helpful to you in this situation.


"If you want to know who your tribe is, speak your truth, then see who sticks around. Those are the people who get a spot in your blanket fort." -Nanea Hoffman

Posts: 55117 | Registered: Sep 2007
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are you the WSo or the BSo?

If you're the BSo, I think the signal is that she's done or too effed up to fix herself, and I agree the 180 is for you.

If you're the WSo, I think all you can do is express your commitment to R and hope you bGF comes down on that side. You might get better advice on the WS forum.

If you're the WSo, I recommend looking at the WS forum for insight into how you can heal.

fBH (me) - 66 on d-day, Married 43, together 45 on d-day, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
Most of us know only our own experience. That's not enough data to support a general rule that D, or R, is right in every sitch.

Posts: 16781 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 3

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