This past weekend I had ..again..no porn conversation with WS. I know he surfs incognito on cell so only way to monitor is VAR. He is not aware how I know..just that I know. Listening, I overheard a conversation he had with male family member. They were talking relationship stuff and advised him to spend alone time together, read books etc. (which he does't do like he should) then he mentioned how his last "girlfriend - wtf" asked him since his marriage was bad was he interested in a friend with benefits and he said yeah he was all over that and snickered. Now I know he is a big BSer and talks out of his ass to other people. Hell, I bet that it didn't even play out like that cuz he essentially fabricates so much crap.But...to laugh and make light of something that has hurt me so much is just like a stab in the back. He is going on guys camping trip for the weekend with his family - I am anxious about him being gone and wondering what else he will say but at the same time don't really want to deal with him. So pissed, hurt, sick and tired of it all!! I don't like who I have become and feeling like I have no self-respect. Thanks for the vent!!